Dr. Kyle T.
Google
🎯 “TikTok Lied to Y’all—This Ain’t It”
⭐️⭐️ (and that’s me being generous)
Alright y’all, let’s not waste time. I’m not new to this—I’m true to this—and TikTok really had y’all fooled on this one. Idk if they got sponsored or just don’t have real taste buds, but even if they cut me a check, you’d still get the truth from me.
The vibe? Cool, dim lighting, kind of lounge-y. The crowd was mixed, which I liked, but honestly… it gave student union cafeteria with mood lighting. Ordering on a kiosk? Fine if you like feeling like you’re at an airport. I tried asking a simple question at the register and Juan barely caught what I was saying—so let’s just say the “hospitality” didn’t hit.
Now to the food—brace yourself.
• Seafood boil for my cousin? Crawfish, potatoes, corn, sausage… all lightly seasoned (and I mean LIGHTLY, like someone thought about seasoning but got distracted). Butter was the only flavor. Noodles? Barely there, just disrespectful.
• Crab fries? Came out semi-cold like they were waiting on me to bring the heat. Meh.
• Steak quesadilla? Greasier than a car mechanic’s hands, and yet still bland. Should’ve just poured one out for Nacho Mama’s because they would’ve never let me down like this.
Even Grams, who usually tries to find the good in everything, hit me with, “This spot is probably better for broke college kids who don’t know any better.” And honestly? She’s right.
So yeah… if you like mediocrity with a side of “well, it’s cheap,” go ahead. But if you actually care about taste? Save yourself the disappointment. Wish them well, but I won’t be back.