Andrew J.
Yelp
I'm only writing this review because Abode have just sent me and email asking me to... something I hope they'll regret.
I visited last Saturday night in a party of 6, eating at 8pm. we arrived slightly early so as to have a drink before dinner, first impression wasn't great as there were a huge collection of dirty glasses on the bar, oddly despite the fact that various members of staff were milling about, no one seemed to be that interested in moving or cleaning them. We took a table in the corner of the bar and were immediately aware of a gale force wind emanating from the air conditioning vent above our table. We asked for this to be turned down, the staff member informed us that it would be taken care of - it wasn't. Not until the we asked for a fourth time did the wind cease.
Venturing out of the bar and into the toilet area, a general level of untidiness was again obvious. The used towel bins were completely overflowing and there was no toilet roll - I'm reliably informed that the situation was mirrored in the ladies toilet. It was around this point that we released the time had moved on towards 8:30 and we were yet to be taken to our table. upon inquiry we were informed that the table was indeed ready... why we hadn't been informed is anyone's guess.
We were taken to our table a young man who immediately informed us that he didn't have enough menus, so we would have to share... he went off to look for more but never returned. This all seemed very odd given that the restaurant was little more than half full (lucky for us, how much worse could it have been??). Once again some time passed until we flagged down a passing waitress, she fetched a wine menu which the previous waiter had failed to provide, she was also able to hunt down additional menus with little trouble.
The lady proceeded to inform us that she was very busy running two sections and wouldn't be able to give us too much attention. Given the incompetence of everyone we'd deal with thus far, this didn't seem like a bad thing, although it's always nice to know as a paying customer that there are other people somewhere else who are a higher priority that you - the true essence of good service and why people are happy to pay inflated prices at restaurants such as this (no.. wait a second?). Clearly noticing that our spirits were at a low ebb, the waitress decided to really lock in the bad feeling by giving us what could only be described as a 'warning' not to order the tasting menu unless we all wanted it. It sounds like I'm going over the top but we really were made to feel like naughty school children - crazy!
The next disappointment came only moments later when the waitress returned to take our orders. Given it had only been about 60 seconds since we'd received our menus, it was unsurprising that no one was ready to order. I ordered some wine but was amazed by the waitresses complete lack of knowledge on the subject, especially considering the wine list contains little more than 20 different bottles!! This was highlighted when rather than repeating my order in confirmation the waitress quoted back the reference number from the menu - as if I were ordering food in a Chinese takeaway! From this point on I was continually irked throughout the meal as every time I ordered wine it was taken to another member of our table. We were only offered the opportunity to try the first bottle, I suppose all subsequent bottles were assumed to be in a suitable condition based on my review of the first.
To be fair the wine was excellent, but credit here should go to the supplier rather than the restaurant.
After an inordinately long wait our food arrived. before we could start a young man gave us a verbal overview of our dishes, I can only assume from his stuttering delivery that this was indeed his first night on the job, if so then it seems to unfair to criticise too much. When the food finally did arrive it was the absolute definition of mediocrity. Remarkable for nothing more than the stingy small portions and distinct lack of either quality ingredients or creativity. Vanilla is the word that springs to mind. The Peanut Parfait and Espresso Martini deserve a special mention - the former was rock hard to the point where it was impossible to eat and the other was simply disgusting - undrinkable.
Cheese get an honorable mention - very pleasant... although once again, credit to the supplier rather than the restaurant.
Throughout the meal the air-conditioning saga continued. it was eventually resolved shortly before we left and a comfortable temperature was restored, albeit a little late.
The final insult was the bill, weighing in at a budget busting £420 - not including drinks in the bar. We paid and left... never to return. This place was more fun when it was a police station, and the food was probably better too.