Jay B.
Google
Just returned from 5 nights and 6 days at Almar Resort in Puerto Vallarta, and such a disappointment. Had booked to arrive Tuesday before Thanksgiving and returned this evening, Sunday.
Let me breakdown my assessment:
First of all, Almar is apparently planning to convert to a Vacation Time Share type arrangement in one year. So if you book, expect to get a hard sell to go through the orientation in exchange for a free massage, meal credit or future stay credit. But you have to site through a one-hour pitch. SORRY! I'm hear to vacation. Get away from me with that BS.
Second, the property is actually nice. The location is right on the beach, although it is a bit of a hike to the central gay strip. Not unreasonable, but still. We had the ocean view suite with a king bed and hot tub in the room. Loved the room, great view. The hotel in general is well maintained. The "Luxury" resort is a bit of a stretch, but 4-star facility. The photo I posted is from a cabana (extra $150) next to the infinity pool, which in turn has a spectacular view of the Pacific Ocean and the beach below. Note, Almar also owns the Mantanar which has beach chairs and additional bar and food, which we did not try.
The food at Almar is mediocre, at best. We had the breakfast included in our booking. If we were closer to the main area, we would have eaten elsewhere, The food EVERYWHERE - the top, Eden, it's bland and boring and beautifully presented. But, good god, the food is bland and boring. It's also impossible to get a decent coffee there. The coffee in the room is trash. The coffee served at the Top Bar with breakfast on the 13th floor is weak and lukewarm. EVERY day. I complained and asked for something hotter and stronger. Received a double espresso, at incremental charge of course. Stronger, but still not hot. Had to walk to the main area to find a coffee shop - not Starbucks - for decent coffee.
Massages are heavily marketed. At that check-in orientation, the time share sales pitch, at the experiences desk, and unrelentingly as you sit by the pool or 5th floor bar (near the pool). Gorgeous, flirty speciments of Mexican masculinity approach and emote and give you tastes of the pleasure to come with back rubs. GORGEOUS men! But probably none of them are gay. Maybe that's an attraction? The massages - I confess, I had 2 of them - were good massages. The masseurs (Eden and Ibra) were handsome, froendly, flirty, and gave great massages. There was never an inference of happy ending, but the come on at the Eden bar is pretty hot. If you want the massage, I recommend them, but plan to pay US prices and finish yourself later.
Service - this is a mixed bag. Most employees are courteous and responsive (bellman, housekeeping), but others are lacking. The "concierge" was not available to offer dining recommendations despite 2 calls. The last one she put the ohone down after asking when I checked in (maybe to see if they had put me through the orientation). After several minutes, I hung up. The concept of a concierge is ingrained with a "luxury" hotel. Not here. They replaced them with a marketing team masquerading as concierge.
Would I recommend this hotel or return? No. Not really. Like Casa Cupola, it is not located close to the main areas of interest. Almar has a better beach location, Casa Cupola is clothing optional. I'd look at other options if I were to return to PV for a 3rd visit.