Joshua
Google
I really try not to be a ‘1 star’ review type of guy but this time around I’m him.
The online pics of the Tamar Valley Resort looked presentable and enticing. Having now spent some time there it’s fair to say those pictures weren’t quite taken yesterday. Maybe not even ten years ago.
We arrived and went to check in at reception. While that was going on, I took a look around a reception and started to get an outdated 80’s vibe but remained positive.
We were issued with our room keys and proceeded to our respective chalets.
As soon as we unlocked the cheap bunnings lock on the door we were immediately transported back to the 80’s again. I thought I’d left that behind in high school, but there I was back there. The kitchen, the appliances, the sink and the stove.
Then I saw one of those old touch phones on the wall (the ones we all thought were great when they came out). I walked over to it and showed the kids what I used to make phone calls on. Under the phone is a laminated sheet of paper explaining how to make ‘STD’ calls from it. Remember STD calls?? A lot of people are going to see this and think it’s a sexual health hotline phone for those tricky situations, but no….this dates back to when we were all worrying about local vs STD calls.
I moved past the kitchen and on to the bathroom where I got a similar vibe. At some stage the old tiles had been replaced with vinyl which would have been the only money thrown at this in 30 years. I opened the window using the old tight window winder only to have the handle come loose in my hand. Having reattached it, I went to asses the downstairs bedroom. Yep! 1989 come on down!! Zero creature comforts and the mattress had clearly seen at least a thousand struggles.
The lounge room….old carpet and basic lounges which felt dirty. Not a cushion to be seen.
There was an old TV on the wall that I didn’t even bother turning on.
Upstairs was another bedroom with three beds in it. They did have electric blankets fitted however I advised the kids that maybe not using them might be wise. Other than that, nothing fancy in any way.
Everywhere I looked, something needed to be thrown away or totally renovated.
The kids wanted to go to the heated indoor pool which is one of the draw cards, so off we went. The stifling air in there was thick with chlorine and it felt like there was no ventilation. The entire pool and spa area looks sadly outdated in every way. Even my 15 year old son who doesn’t appear to have to highest cleanliness standards commented on how putrid the pool water and spa was. There was rust on the doorways and the whole things really just needs a major renovation. I can see that at one time, it would be been a great facility however that time came and went long ago. It needs major $$ thrown at it.
Walking back from the pool through the main reception and conference building I noticed tape over joins in the carpet in several spots.
There is golf, tennis, aqua golf and other activities. To be honest, these should be free for guests staying there in my opinion but they’re not. The shops didn’t look great either and didn’t appear to even be open in most cases.
I chose not to risk eating in the restaurant there based on my findings elsewhere at the facility.
The whole place needs millions and millions sunk into it if it’s going to survive. There are a huge number of chalets and cabins, maybe they need to greatly reduce the number of these and actually properly update those that stay. The chalet we were in had had some embarrassing attempts at cheap facelifts, such as painting the original kitchen bench tops, painting over tiles etc. Everything, right down to the ancient toilet cistern….it all needs to be stripped out and re done.
Oh, and if you’re one of those people (like me and my daughter) who are prone to a bit of ghost action, let me tell you that the one in our room was particularly nasty and that is no joke.
We were booked for two nights and paid for two nights, needless to say we were long gone after the one night.
