Jake C.
Google
Great coffee and very friendly but..
It started like any normal morning at the Bean & Brew Café. The espresso machine hissed like an angry snake, the baristas were performing latte art like caffeinated Picassos, and hipsters were typing aggressively into their MacBooks, presumably writing screenplays no one asked for.
Then came Greg.
Greg the pigeon.
Greg didn’t walk in. No, he swooped in—through the slightly open window that Aoife the barista insisted was “for the vibe.” Greg had big wings and even bigger opinions. And he made them known the way all pigeons do:
By pooping.
Not just one, casual plop on the floor, no. Greg went full Jackson Pollock on the pastry display. One second there was a pristine almond croissant, the next—it was a crime scene. A customer screamed. Someone tried to capture Greg using a yoga mat. A latte was spilled. Greg dodged them all with the grace of a feathery ninja.
Finally, Greg landed triumphantly on the “Be Kind to All Creatures” chalkboard sign, looked the crowd dead in the eyes, and dropped one final insult on a freshly brewed oat milk cappuccino.
He left as dramatically as he came, a winged whirlwind of caffeine chaos and bird butt mayhem.
Legend has it, if you listen closely, you can still hear the sound of someone softly crying over spilled espresso and violated scones.
