John F.
Yelp
This was a nightmare. Whatever tradition this was, you need to let to die. Given the hour long line to get in, I can't begin to comprehend why... Why was everyone here? Were they all like me, coerced into this rubbish by deranged family members trying to reclaim some dimly revered memory of their childhood?
Fine, you want specifics. It was an hour to get the park entrance. Don't follow your GPS, it'll efficiently avoid the traffic and you'll run afoul with the local police ; they will redirect you into the traffic jam. And let's be clear, this entire event is one prolonged traffic jam.
Yes, Everyone will try to cut into the jam. Yes, you will have no recourse. Yes, you will stare at the jerk's bumper for the next 2 hours.
The cost, 21$, atrocious. Free is too much. Couldn't pay me. Seriously, I'd sit thru a focus panel group, jury duty, sales pitch for timeshare for a Croatian getaway. Anything.
The lights are.. Boring. Clearly old, dim, mostly functional. Generic holiday themes in 5 watt bulbs.
About 15 minutes into this torture everyone in the car realized our mistake. We all share a look of pleading eyes, then turn to the instigator of this event, my mother. She too sensed the error and could only say "what? I remember it being good!"
40 minutes in, there is a magical forest carstop. Not content with just having a row of toilets, they gussied it up with several rejected carnival rides and questionable refreshments. If you make it this far, good job! You are about half way thru.
The next 40 min is more of the same. Surprisingly, the road wasn't littered with the abandoned cars of those who fell asleep at the wheel or drove into the woods In a desperate attempt to escape.
Please, please stop perpetuating this event. If you are desperate to see Christmas lights, just drive around the neighborhood. House lights are far, far better. If you want the experience of never ending traffic, just drive slowly.