Isobel M.
Yelp
My stay here was deeply undignified, which I had a chilling premonition of through the greeting I received (or should I say lack thereof) by the young woman on the reception desk. She was eating celery sticks, and staring at something on her screen; hopefully nothing obscene, but who can say with these kinds of people? Anyway, she appeared not to have noticed me so I clacked my heels on the floor, and the reverberating echo which rippled through the foyer startled the lass and she quietly screamed. After she had recovered from her shock, she had become angered, and made little effort to conceal it. I told her that I was here for a hotel room and she said "yes I think I figured that part out thanks" before typing with her keyboard. Eventually she assigned me to a room without saying anything else to me, just handing the key card over without another word. The key card was greasy and almost slid out of my hand. That did mean that it slid into the sensor with ease, however, so this I cannot complain about.
That being said, I would have probably preferred to have just stayed in the hallway and tried my luck with the mercy of the other guests. The room was about as sanitary as a swamp on a humid summer day, and I tried to make sure that I did not touch any of the surfaces as they looked diseased. The bed had a disturbing morphology and, upon further inspection, I found it's undulating crevices to be distressed. There was also a dead bee in the sink. I put the bee out of the window to decompose in the natural world, but then I could not close the window no matter how hard I pulled. My room had suddenly become an access-all-hours, free-for-all for the opportunists of society.
You won't be surprised to learn that I didn't sleep very much on the lumpen, deformed and gravelly mattress. I decided to purchase the breakfast buffet, and went down to the restaurant area wearing a business woman outfit and heels so no one would question why I was dining alone. I should have turned around and sought alternative victuals after glimpsing the wretched nature of the diners. Their levels of physical fitness and mental acuity were subterranean, which reflected poorly on the breakfast foods. The scrambled eggs were fibrous, and the coffee that I had been so foolish as to sample tasted as if it had been brewed in a nuclear reactor. I knew at this point that I needed to get out of the hotel as soon as possible and never return.