Suzanne B.
Yelp
Buzzard Beach is it's own type of entity--that is, places like Buzzard just generally don't exisist outside of the midwest. The drink prices here are RIDICULOUSLY low--.75 PBR anyone?--and the bartenders pour BIG. Once while here I ordered a Long Island Iced Tea and got a glass full of booze. Really. No splash of Sweet and Sour, no splash of Coke---just a glass full of cheap hard liquer. Which is basically what Buzzard is about; cheap booze, lots of it, and a place in which to drink it. Places like this just DO NOT exisist beyond the midwest; it is the midwestern version of "dive bar" and worth at least venturing into once, if for nothing else other than cheap booze and people watching.
Unlike other areas of the country, in the midwest dive bars aren't yet trendy enough to be packed from front to back every night, mainly with young scenesters and young, fashion forward drunks. Not that there aren't some ridiculous scene people who come to this bar--because there are enough, not as many as their used to be but enough--but the crowd does remain diverse, and on any given night you'll find people here from all walks of life, and representatives from all different subcultures. It's a melting pot as far as the scene goes and since the smoking ban, as mentioned by others, this bar is far less packed than it has been in the past.
There are two levels to this bar: in the bottom one there are pool tables, a shuffleboard, a jukebox and a bar. Upstairs, an open air patio outside and another full bar along with booths to sit in and tables and chairs. The bathrooms are upstairs as well, although one step inside them and most won't find the idea of using them too appetizing. They are a work of art in their own right though--if you take a minute to shuffle through all the grafffitti on the wall you'l find some genuinely funny and some really retarded shit written all over with black sharpie. If you make any sort of regular appearance to this bar, eventually you too will get drunk enough to not only use the bathroom but to mark it with a sharpie as well. It just sort of happens after awhile of coming here.
There is also a popcorn maker right by the front door for hungry drunks to help themselves too. However, I suggest that if you can remain the realm of the cognicient for your stay at Buzzard, that you keep your hands off the popcorn. I've watched people throw used condoms and other such questionable items into the serving bin and shutter to think about how long most of that popcorn has been sitting there for.
Staff tends to be typical--not too friendly, not too mean, although if you start shit expect to be kicked out. Although in the past Buzzard has been a little rough compared to some other bars around town, in general you shouldn't have any problems (unless you are a douch bag in which case I predict you'll have problems everywhere). Like I mentioned before, the crowds run the gambit, but on a whole, they tend to be on the edgier side--expect lots of tattoos and piercings. Most of the regulars here have a serious drinking problem, so expect to see some really FUCKED UP drunks here, which always makes for a good people watching time (if not also the feeling that one should hand them a 50 and tell them to get some help).
All and all, a very decent place. Cheap drinks (probably some of the cheapest left in America at this point), laid back, interesting. The decor can mesmerize you when drunk. A shark? ON THE CEILING? WOAH MAN... :) Definately check it out at least once if you're in the area. It's much better than anything in the Power and Light District, which tends to be so elitest that nobody goes there except creepy old business dudes looking to pick up a little ass.
