Kelly K.
Yelp
Ah, Café Monte, where the dreams of a repeat magical dining experience go to wither on the vine--or, in this case, get lost in translation from the kitchen to our table.
My first visit was akin to a culinary ballet, each dish pirouetting onto our table with grace and flavor. So, with memories of that delightful experience, I decided to take my mom, who was visiting, for what I hoped would be an encore presentation of gastronomic excellence. Unfortunately, what we got felt more like a dress rehearsal gone awry.
Let's start with the service. Imagine, if you will, a team of servers who've taken the phrase "stiff upper lip" a tad too seriously. Their approach to hospitality seemed to hinge on a belief that smiles are a finite resource, not to be squandered on mere customers. I half-expected them to break into a Victorian-era etiquette lesson at any moment.
Now, onto the culinary misadventures. My order of a gluten-free waffle seemed straightforward enough. I mean, it's a waffle, right? How complicated can it get? Well, as it turns out, quite a bit if you're expecting flambé bananas and end up with a lonely puddle of flambé sauce instead. A metaphor for unmet expectations, perhaps? Meanwhile, my mom, ever the optimist, tackled the French country breakfast. Her review? "It's okay." And in the world of mom reviews, "okay" is a polite euphemism for "I've had better breakfasts at a gas station."
But the pièce de résistance was the Café Diablo, a concoction so potent I'm convinced it could double as rocket fuel. After a few sips of what I can only describe as liquid regret, I found myself flagging down a server for an emergency coffee infusion to dilute the assault on my taste buds. The drink's only saving grace was that it was, indeed, very good at being alcoholic.
As we wrapped up our meal, I couldn't help but wonder about those rave reviews. Perhaps Café Monte excels in a parallel universe where bananas flambé themselves and coffee doesn't taste like it's plotting your demise. But in our universe, our experience left much to be desired.
So, to those considering Café Monte for their next dining adventure, I say: go for the ambiance, stay for the unintentional comedy. And maybe bring your own bananas, just in case.