Calheta Beach

Enjoyed a lovely suite with ocean view at this hotel. Fabulous front desk staff and housekeeping. The hotel is bright and airy, very cheerful. The only reason I didn’t give this hotel a 5, is because the food was just mediocre. Nothing special except in one of the a la cartes. Otherwise the buffet could be improved. For example, on Asian night, the use of spaghetti in a noodle dish left a lot to be desired. Stick with Portuguese food, as this is what folks like me truly come to enjoy!

Needs a thorough refurbishment, not like its last, being a coat of paint over the bathroom tiles, it had a leaking tap, and a water damaged swollen door. However, it was spotlessly clean. Bed linen tired torn at seams, towels worn thin. Bed extraordinarily hard, pillows tired. Fridge interior broken and hardly cold. Aircon noisy and set at 19’. Rooms facing pool/sea view have noise from entertainment, rooms with cliff view face a building linked for self catering rooms above a grocery, car park, chemist and tourist info shop. Taxi rank outside hotel €40-50 to Funchal 30 min drive. Local bus in Calheta village very inexpensive taking the original old roads into Funchal, well worth it for exquisite views. Food pleasant, hot and a reasonable selection, servers very friendly. Pool lovely and clean, super separate shaded pool for toddlers. Planting lovely with species named. Beach clean with sheltered swimming. Pleasant promenade to stroll. Reception attitude hit n miss- hotel vibe favoured German and French guests. Could be a jewel in the crown with investment for refurbishment and staff training. It’s definitely not 4* but a very good 3*. Be sure to check a map to note its location. If you are happy to pay a bit more to access excursions and return to a slower paced area it’s great, if you just want pool or beach days then the location is perfect. Pool towels available for a daily fee from the reception. Luggage scales in reception area €1 per weighed case, you can’t slip another case on before removing the the first. Beware slippy lift floors, guests from the pool use them. Beware the corridor lighting is sensor activated, it’s timing and location to activate needs tweaking, requiring guests to walk in pitch black for considerable distance.

Locstion is further away from the main tourist areas than we realised... potentially renting a car would be a good idea to enabke visits to other locations on longer stays. Staff were so friendly, really made an effort. Most are multi lingual and happy to chat or help you feel involved. Facilities and room were amazing, albeit the buffet didn't always cater for fussy kids eating. Two attached restaurants were lovely and had a separate kids menu. Pools and spa were lovely, but the outdoor one was freezing cold! We would stop again

26 Sept - 6 Oct in room 407. Overall enjoyed our stay in this hotel but not sure I'd recommend it to others. The location is OK if you're looking for a relaxing break with a beach and a few extra restaurants around if you prefer to eat out but beyond that there isn't much in the area. If you want to explore the island you're better off located in the capital Funchal. You can do trips from the hotel but probably easier from the capital unless you have a car. There is a hotel run bus to Funchal but it's 30 euros each making it a costly choice, the bus goes at 10 am and comes back either 16;30 or 18;00 depending on the day. If you go out request a packed lunch the day before and collect at breakfast time. The hotel itself is clean, compact with a good relaxed atmosphere. The service from the staff is good most of the time I'll expand on that in the restaurant bit. If you want to relax by the pool be warned that the entertainment staff do like the opportunity to pump up the volume and try and shake you off your sunbeds so the noise can get a bit overbearing at times. Getting a sunbed was never a problem but then again I don't think the hotel was more than half full most of the time so this is a great time to go. Make sure you check out the sun terrace on level 5, well worth a visit for those sunsets. Food was reasonable but my wife has a gluten allergy which makes things difficult at times. There were labels on the food and if asked someone will show you around and tell you what you can have. The first few days the Chef was excellent and said they could do GF pasta and alter some dishes so we thought great, then the chef changed mid way through and on Italian night when asked this one said no pasta no pizza so basically no Italian. If all inclusive you can eat in 2 other restaurants but it's a limited menu unless you pay extra. Overall 6/10 on the food score. Entertainment was ok some good some not so but that's personal choice. Again the entertainment is by the pool so those in rooms facing it can be very loud but it does stop at 22:30. If all inclusive you can eat in 2 other restaurants but it's a limited menu unless you pay extra.

We enjoyed our stay at Calheta beach! We booked a suite side sea view. It did have a side view of the ocean, but the room was across the street. However, the suite was large with plenty of space! The parking garage can get pretty full (parking is free if you book your room through their website). The staff at Calheta are very nice and super helpful! The entertainment in the evening was mainly dancing and singing, which was good! The food options were pretty good, but it would be nice if more food was available between mealtimes (there is a snack bar but it is fairly limited). Overall, we had a great experience at Calheta beach!

i will start with the positives of which there are many, |firstly the staff , from reception to bar staff to cleaners they do a fantastic job they are friendly and nothing is to much trouble , they are a credit to the hotel.|Our room was very big with a large balcony open to the stars as we were on the top floor (room 504) the bathroom had a nice walk in shower with constant hot water, the room also had tea and coffee making facilities, the air con was powerful and very effective , all in all a very comfortable room with pool and sea view.|The food was of a very good standard with something to suit all tastes but to avoid the crush at dinner go either early in the service or leave it much later, the in between time it is sometimes difficult to get a table.|The range of drinks for all inclusive is pretty extensive and the cocktails are all made fresh (non of the pre mixed rubbish you find in many hotels) .|The evening entertainment was a mixed bag , some good , some not so good, all in all pretty much average for hotel entertainment.|Thats the positives now i will come to the negatives.|We have visited many hotels where there are children and we knew this was the case at this hotel when booking it but the sheer amount of kids in this hotel is absolutely staggering , so you can imagine the noise levels generated by so many , this combined with the constant thumping music around the pool area made it very uncomfortable, even on the raised terrace away from the pool the noise was deafening and i really cant understand why they need music all day long.|We knew when booking that the hotel is in a remote area but didnt realise just how isolated it really is, the hotel runs its own bus service which is a payable extra but unfortunately only goes to funchal once a day from 10am and does not start its return journey until 1800 making it a very long day|The local bus service is also a long journey making it an even longer time sat on a bus so that was not really an option.|only other option to go into funchal is by taxi which is approximatly 100 euros for the return trip so please be aware of this if you are thinking of booking this hotel.|there are absolutely no shops in the immediate area other than the supermarket across the road from the hotel.|returning to the hotel staff all of them are excellent apart from one particular barman , a tall skinny guy with glasses and a beard (dont recall his name ) but he is very abrupt to the point of being rude.|Also the attitude of one of the restaurant waitresses leaves a lot to be desired,we entered the restaurant for dinner one very busy evening and finally found a table which appeared to be free when the said person suddenly appeared saying the table was already occupied which it clearly wasnt so we left the restaurant and returned 15 minutes later and again found a table that was completly empty (no cutlery etc on table) Iasked the same person for some cutlery and glasses etc and was completly ignored by her, i found her attitude totally unacceptible and feel she needs to spoken to in no uncertain terms regarding her approach to her job , it was clear she didnt want to be there and we were a nuisance being there.|So to sum up , if you dont mind lots of noise , total isolation and hordes of kids then give this hotel a go , if not i would certainly look at other accomodation choices for your trip to madeira

Gorgeous views and great location with lots of activity but if you are English speaking I wouldn’t recommend this hotel - they are primarily Portuguese speaking and come off a bit rude to any English folk, or that’s how I felt. ||Building is outdated and Food is mediocre. Lots of selection for food and they were accommodating to get my toddler a meal she would eat, however a lot of the food looked like it had been reheated from prior meals.||We had an ant issue in our bathroom and had to call reception 3+ times to get it taken care of. Ants all over my daughters medicine and they did nothing about it except tell me to put it in the fridge and sprayed ant killer in the washroom. ||Kids club again, speaks mostly Portuguese and barely included my daughter because she was English speaking. ||Excellent park just 5 minute walk from the location and beach is kid friendly. Definitely a good location for toddlers and kids alike.

Beautiful hotel, perfect location (beach in front of the hotel), i strongly recommend the all inclusive here because of all the advantages. good food nice buffet large choice of food and service + employees friendliness is really good, worth the mention. Thank you Calheta Beach! Would recommend 100%!