Calheta Beach

Absolutely fantastic experience! This hotel completely exceeded all my expectations. I truly can’t find a single negative thing to say — everything here is simply perfect. My partner was initially worried about parking, but it turned out to be free for hotel guests, which immediately set the tone for a stress-free stay. Free water, drinks, and food available throughout the day made the experience feel incredibly generous and luxurious. The spa area is amazing: sauna, steam room, heated indoor pool, and a cozy gym — all open from 8 a.m. to 9 p.m. The staff are outstanding: warm, friendly, attentive, and always smiling. You really feel genuinely welcome here. Every evening there is live music, creating a wonderful, relaxing atmosphere. The entire hotel is filled with comfortable sofas and armchairs, inviting you to sit down and unwind. Outside, there is a beautiful pool area with a bar offering free drinks and ice cream — even in January! Plenty of sun loungers with umbrellas, stylish lounge zones with sofas, armchairs, and TVs, plus a game room for extra fun. I usually never stay in hotels for long, but this place is different — you could easily spend the whole day here and never get bored. The hotel is incredibly pleasant, cozy, and full of life. The surrounding area is just as lovely, with a sandy beach and a beautiful promenade perfect for relaxing walks. This is the kind of hotel you don’t want to leave. I would return without hesitation and wholeheartedly recommend it. Truly a place you fall in love with.

The Calheta Beach Hotel is located in a picturesque spot, right by a small beach with a view of the ocean. However, it is clear that the hotel’s best days are behind it. Both the building and the interiors are in need of renovation—visibly dated and lacking modern touches.Catering primarily to Western European retireesThe hotel clearly caters to an older clientele, mostly retirees from Germany and the UK. Families with small children may feel somewhat unwelcome here. We were accommodated in the second row of buildings, away from the main hotel facilities, which made us feel a bit isolated from the core of the resort.Staff and serviceMost of the staff were friendly, kind, and helpful—especially the housekeeping team, who were discreet, polite, and always smiling. Unfortunately, I had an unpleasant experience with the front desk. Despite having prepaid for parking, the receptionist refused to issue me a card for multiple entries and exits, which caused unnecessary stress and inconvenience.Room and amenitiesThe room itself was acceptable, though not up to modern four-star standards. A significant downside was the lack of a coffee machine and no option to stock or order a minibar—something that was particularly inconvenient during a longer stay.⸻SummaryCalheta Beach may be a good choice for older guests looking for peace and quiet, beach proximity, and reasonable prices. However, families with children may feel overlooked, and more demanding guests may be disappointed by the lack of basic amenities. The location and the kindness of most staff members are strong points, but the hotel clearly needs renovation and a more inclusive approach to different types of guests.

I’ve stayed for a week at Calheta Beach hotel. It was very nice stay overall. The room was clean, staffs were nice and friendly, food was diverse and delicious. One downside was that wifi in the room didn’t work well, even after reporting it multiple times and they mentioned to check it. And the outside swimming pool was too cold to get in. It was understandable in Feb but I would’ve enjoyed it more if they had heated pool or some heaters next to it. Other facilities were nice. The sauna and bar were really good. The entertainment team were very friendly and encouraged guests to join. The reception team helped me arranging tours and rental cars. I recommend this place for a good relaxing vacations.

Fantastic experience! I honestly can't find a single bad thing about this hotel - everything is absolutely top-level.|One of my main concerns before arrival was parking, but it turned out to be completely free for hotel guests, which was a very pleasant surprise. Throughout the day, water, drinks, and food are available free of charge, which really adds to the overall comfort and feeling of being well taken care of.|The wellness facilities are excellent: a sauna, steam room, heated indoor pool, and a small gym, all open from 8 a.m.|to 9 p.m. The staff deserve special mention - everyone is polite, friendly, and genuinely helpful.|Every evening there are live music performances, creating a great atmosphere.|The hotel is filled with cozy sofas and armchairs, perfect for relaxing at any time of the day. Outside, there is also a pool and a bar with free drinks and ice cream - even in January! There are plenty of sun loungers with umbrellas, as well as lounge areas with sofas, armchairs, and even TVs. There is also a game room.|I usually don't spend much time at hotels, but even I wouldn't get bored here. It's a very pleasant and welcoming place. The surrounding area is just as nice, with a sandy beach and a beautiful promenade for walks.|I would absolutely love to return to this hotel and can highly recommend it to anyone looking for a relaxing and enjoyable stay.

Enjoyed a lovely suite with ocean view at this hotel. Fabulous front desk staff and housekeeping. The hotel is bright and airy, very cheerful. The only reason I didn’t give this hotel a 5, is because the food was just mediocre. Nothing special except in one of the a la cartes. Otherwise the buffet could be improved. For example, on Asian night, the use of spaghetti in a noodle dish left a lot to be desired. Stick with Portuguese food, as this is what folks like me truly come to enjoy!

The rooms are pretty big, loved that there were separate rooms for more privacy. The drinks at the bar were good to and food was great. The pool was also very nice and the ocean was near. Also liked the sauna and the gym. I was here in December so decorations were everywhere and they were beautiful and they brought vibe for Christmas.

Needs a thorough refurbishment, not like its last, being a coat of paint over the bathroom tiles, it had a leaking tap, and a water damaged swollen door. However, it was spotlessly clean. Bed linen tired torn at seams, towels worn thin. Bed extraordinarily hard, pillows tired. Fridge interior broken and hardly cold. Aircon noisy and set at 19’. Rooms facing pool/sea view have noise from entertainment, rooms with cliff view face a building linked for self catering rooms above a grocery, car park, chemist and tourist info shop. Taxi rank outside hotel €40-50 to Funchal 30 min drive. Local bus in Calheta village very inexpensive taking the original old roads into Funchal, well worth it for exquisite views. Food pleasant, hot and a reasonable selection, servers very friendly. Pool lovely and clean, super separate shaded pool for toddlers. Planting lovely with species named. Beach clean with sheltered swimming. Pleasant promenade to stroll. Reception attitude hit n miss- hotel vibe favoured German and French guests. Could be a jewel in the crown with investment for refurbishment and staff training. It’s definitely not 4* but a very good 3*. Be sure to check a map to note its location. If you are happy to pay a bit more to access excursions and return to a slower paced area it’s great, if you just want pool or beach days then the location is perfect. Pool towels available for a daily fee from the reception. Luggage scales in reception area €1 per weighed case, you can’t slip another case on before removing the the first. Beware slippy lift floors, guests from the pool use them. Beware the corridor lighting is sensor activated, it’s timing and location to activate needs tweaking, requiring guests to walk in pitch black for considerable distance.

A relaxing week away - quiet hotel - laid back for us to do "nothing with a bit of nothing on the side"||Great staff, place is immaculately clean and kept that way. Restaurants offer good choice - always something interesting. Bar staff were good - all inc cocktails looked good and were in demand.||I know we got a quiet week (end of Nov) sea was warm enough to swim, outdoor pool was a bit cooler - indoor warm. Hotel was transformed into Christmas wonderland - if you have kids they'd love it (adults also will)||A place on our "we would go back" list.