Calheta Beach

We spent again few wonderful days at Calheta Beach and were pleasantly surprised by the overall experience. The hotel has everything a family could ask for. Our kids absolutely loved it — from the pool area to the proximity to the beach, and even the daily activities designed for children. ||As for us, we truly enjoyed the calm atmosphere, the cleanliness of the facilities, and the friendly, welcoming staff who always made an effort to ensure our comfort. The rooms are spacious and well-maintained, and we had a lovely view over the beach and sea.||The food was also a pleasant surprise — varied, fresh, and with plenty of options even for picky eaters (both kids and adults!). The all-inclusive package made everything easier, especially when travelling as a family.||A perfect place to relax while the kids have fun!

We enjoyed our stay at Calheta beach! We booked a suite side sea view. It did have a side view of the ocean, but the room was across the street. However, the suite was large with plenty of space! The parking garage can get pretty full (parking is free if you book your room through their website). The staff at Calheta are very nice and super helpful! The entertainment in the evening was mainly dancing and singing, which was good! The food options were pretty good, but it would be nice if more food was available between mealtimes (there is a snack bar but it is fairly limited). Overall, we had a great experience at Calheta beach!

i will start with the positives of which there are many, |firstly the staff , from reception to bar staff to cleaners they do a fantastic job they are friendly and nothing is to much trouble , they are a credit to the hotel.|Our room was very big with a large balcony open to the stars as we were on the top floor (room 504) the bathroom had a nice walk in shower with constant hot water, the room also had tea and coffee making facilities, the air con was powerful and very effective , all in all a very comfortable room with pool and sea view.|The food was of a very good standard with something to suit all tastes but to avoid the crush at dinner go either early in the service or leave it much later, the in between time it is sometimes difficult to get a table.|The range of drinks for all inclusive is pretty extensive and the cocktails are all made fresh (non of the pre mixed rubbish you find in many hotels) .|The evening entertainment was a mixed bag , some good , some not so good, all in all pretty much average for hotel entertainment.|Thats the positives now i will come to the negatives.|We have visited many hotels where there are children and we knew this was the case at this hotel when booking it but the sheer amount of kids in this hotel is absolutely staggering , so you can imagine the noise levels generated by so many , this combined with the constant thumping music around the pool area made it very uncomfortable, even on the raised terrace away from the pool the noise was deafening and i really cant understand why they need music all day long.|We knew when booking that the hotel is in a remote area but didnt realise just how isolated it really is, the hotel runs its own bus service which is a payable extra but unfortunately only goes to funchal once a day from 10am and does not start its return journey until 1800 making it a very long day|The local bus service is also a long journey making it an even longer time sat on a bus so that was not really an option.|only other option to go into funchal is by taxi which is approximatly 100 euros for the return trip so please be aware of this if you are thinking of booking this hotel.|there are absolutely no shops in the immediate area other than the supermarket across the road from the hotel.|returning to the hotel staff all of them are excellent apart from one particular barman , a tall skinny guy with glasses and a beard (dont recall his name ) but he is very abrupt to the point of being rude.|Also the attitude of one of the restaurant waitresses leaves a lot to be desired,we entered the restaurant for dinner one very busy evening and finally found a table which appeared to be free when the said person suddenly appeared saying the table was already occupied which it clearly wasnt so we left the restaurant and returned 15 minutes later and again found a table that was completly empty (no cutlery etc on table) Iasked the same person for some cutlery and glasses etc and was completly ignored by her, i found her attitude totally unacceptible and feel she needs to spoken to in no uncertain terms regarding her approach to her job , it was clear she didnt want to be there and we were a nuisance being there.|So to sum up , if you dont mind lots of noise , total isolation and hordes of kids then give this hotel a go , if not i would certainly look at other accomodation choices for your trip to madeira

Pure class and very high standards. A fantastic hotel which I cannot fault in anyway. Staff so very pleasant and helpful. A request made to the travel agent was not passed onto the hotel but despite being very busy it was sorted out for us the next morning. Nothing was too much, so very accommodating in every way. A special mention to the very special South African lady on reception so pleasant and thoroughly professional, a big asset to the hotel.

The whole experience was amazing, over my expectation. It Is just perfect for any age. My 81 years old mother was very happy and confortable with all the facilites.|All the staff were great.

The Calheta Beach Hotel is located in a picturesque spot, right by a small beach with a view of the ocean. However, it is clear that the hotel’s best days are behind it. Both the building and the interiors are in need of renovation—visibly dated and lacking modern touches.Catering primarily to Western European retireesThe hotel clearly caters to an older clientele, mostly retirees from Germany and the UK. Families with small children may feel somewhat unwelcome here. We were accommodated in the second row of buildings, away from the main hotel facilities, which made us feel a bit isolated from the core of the resort.Staff and serviceMost of the staff were friendly, kind, and helpful—especially the housekeeping team, who were discreet, polite, and always smiling. Unfortunately, I had an unpleasant experience with the front desk. Despite having prepaid for parking, the receptionist refused to issue me a card for multiple entries and exits, which caused unnecessary stress and inconvenience.Room and amenitiesThe room itself was acceptable, though not up to modern four-star standards. A significant downside was the lack of a coffee machine and no option to stock or order a minibar—something that was particularly inconvenient during a longer stay.⸻SummaryCalheta Beach may be a good choice for older guests looking for peace and quiet, beach proximity, and reasonable prices. However, families with children may feel overlooked, and more demanding guests may be disappointed by the lack of basic amenities. The location and the kindness of most staff members are strong points, but the hotel clearly needs renovation and a more inclusive approach to different types of guests.

Overall the stay was bittersweet. The best: meals (breakfast was the best although lunch could be improved), swimming pools, location and friendliness of the staff. The worst: The mattress was sagging, it was impossible to rest on it. I complained 3 times at reception and they didn't pay any attention to me, nobody checked it, nobody changed it... (room 703). I tell you because other guests could suffer the same that me. The toilet was also broken but they fixed it 24 hours later. Finally I would give my stay a 3 out of 5. On holidays you go to rest and I came back with back pain and tired.

The hotel is old! The reception staff helps with information, but understand that not everything is in their power. We booked a room with a side view of the ocean, it turned out that the room is in another building across the street and the front view is on a noisy road. They could not change our room, because there were no better rooms. We wanted to leave faster, cockroaches were crawling freely in the room, restaurant and children's room ((. The hotel does not have its own massage therapists, they come at the request of the hotel and are not customer-oriented. The exchange that is hung on the hand is made of cheap plastic with sharp edges and caused irritation on the skin. There is definitely no desire to return to this hotel or recommend it. However, there was one woman from the cleaning service, whose work and care I want to note and thank, she tried to take into account our wishes, thank her for that!