Uncle Wiggley 1.
Yelp
THE FEAST
I bought several feast tickets for 2 monthly feasts and I was really looking forward to this. Haha, a feast. I ordered linen period clothing from Europe and I was set. I ordered vegan meals which Roger said was fine. What he meant to say was, I will do nothing, and you can eat a piece of bread and that is how I will accommodate you. I called again and he said it was fine again. The day I showed up, I reminded him and he said it was all taken care of. At the feast I again asked because the food was being served and he acted like he never talked with me, yet they would make something up, which they did about an hour and a half after everyone had been eating. No water pitchers, water is only served once in your 5 ounce cup. Bring your own water if you need it. Now the vegan meal was a bowl with about 10 ounces of rice and almonds, not really a $45 meal, unless you count the Robin Hood song as being worth $35. Also not very filing, unless you think one small shrimp in the shell is filling. Now there were lots of obese and aggressive people there armed with pitchforks and hatchets (not really weapons however they were still going to have their drama). So the long bench seat is not big enough for 45 people, you know how greedy fat people don't care about you, stick your elbow in your eye and eat all the pie. This group of people sat around various places and took most of the food. You are expected to share a plate with 12 people or more. So if you are at the beginning of the 4 serving spots, good for you, however they dump all the plates in front of you and the table is too narrow to hold them, so Roger helps you out by simply passing them down the line so you get none. If you are at the end of 12, expect nothing. The big family in front of me refused to send any of the meat dishes along and Roger did nothing except say, he would take care of it, more lip service, he just disappeared and comes back to sing 2 songs and kick you out conveyor belt style. I received one almond baked mound that I could close my hand around and make it disappear. I received 2 green salad leaves with a total size of 2 square inches. A cup and a half of runny plum sauce was plenty because no one else wanted it. Cheese is a few 1" cheapie squares, about 6 for 12+ people, grapes, you might get 4 if you divided them equally. The problem is the trenchers, bread plates, soak up any liquids and become instantly soggy, so they contact the table cloth. You can't put much on the bread trencher plate, so you pass the food and it is gone. So what you ultimately get depends on where you sit, and how much your trencher can hold, definitely not all the items served even in a very small quantity, and it depends on the benevolence of the people before you. Roger spends about $3.50 maximum on food, at the very most, while you pay $35 ($10 to get in). What is most frustrating is people who gobble up all the food and pass you an empty plate. This is Roger the Dodgers plan, give you very little and let you complain about your neighbors. If plates of food came back down the line with something on them, ok, we have a chance, however plates stay at the end and even if they came back, folks would gobble up everything, even that 1" square broccoli floret that you paid for.
The second feast I attended had nicer people, however the fat greedy ones were still there and they oversold the tickets and my butt was half off the bench, one cheek on, one off and very uncomfortable. I asked for a chair and Roger said that would interfere with the serving, however that was really his "stage" it would interfere with. Same vegan problem only one month later, same lip service, no delivery. Same songs, same uncaring attitude. Same soggy bread which is brown wonder bread, not traditional, no seeds, just soft sponge that won't hold the food or liquids, so you get to eat the table cloth along with your food. The bread gets cut in half so if you get the "upper crust" it is even softer and smaller and the edges are very thin, so food falls off easily. Roger did recommend if a few people take all the food, you do have your steak knives to get even, however since he was standing in front of me, I simply felt like using mine close at hand. If you think 12 people are going to share an ant's sized portion of food, forget it! If you even believe Roger for one minute, then you will learn quickly.
THE PLACE
Got there early and realized the place has had nothing repaired in 30 years, and I mean nothing. The buildings are facades on paper with a thin layer of concrete over them. Roger the owner has spared no expense in zero upkeep, he just milks a wooden cow. It has a lot of potential to be a fun event, and probably the giant mosquitoes have the most fun. How about buying a propane skeeter eater and wipe out the population? Roger the skinflint likes lip service, no heat, no repairs and all the craftspeople have unkind words about the "