Jay B.
Yelp
When I was a kid, my uncle used to tell me, "Canobie Lake Park is like a poor man's Disney World". A few decades later, I'm inclined to agree.
As most of you probably already know, becoming an adult is a strange, yet intriguing journey. Somewhere between college (or whatever) and getting your first entry level position, you start to care about things like bills, taxes, and the prices of things. Like amusement park tickets.
Obviously, your average 8 year old isn't gonna give a flip about the fact that their parents just spent 5% of their hard earned paycheck getting themselves and their family of four into a modest, New England amusement park. One thing I DO remember about being a kid was that tickets used to cost somewhere around $16. Mind you, this was sometime during the early 90s (yes, I'm aging myself a bit here. Bite me!).
Now that tickets are TRIPLE what they used to be back when my greatest adversary was acne and midterms, I expect a little more bang for my buck. Nothing earth shattering, mind you. But...something within the realm that is worthy of Canobie.
Sure, there's plenty of open rides. But thanks to short staffing (or possibly even safety concerns), there are also a fair amount of closed rides. Though I can't name them off the top of my head, that's neither here nor there. Because there's one major take-away from this "TL;DR" segway: there should be more going on here for the price we're paying.
Don't get me wrong--this park is fine by NH standards. The thing is, when you travel as much as I have, you form a basis for comparison. So, let me break it down for you all.
If you've never left the state of NH, then you'll likely think this park is the most epic spectacle you've ever gazed eyes upon. And honestly, it can be. Then....you experience things like Six Flags, Water Country, and the aforementioned Disney World and you go, "Ya know....50 bucks oughta get me more than an old fossil of a rollercoaster older than my grandpa and overpriced food court cuisine".
I'm oversimplifying, of course. But that's basically the summary of Canobie. It's entertaining, but nothing to write home about. The lines are still pretty long, which means you spend approximately a third of your day MINIMUM waiting to even get on a ride. Most of their food spots take contactless payment and there is hand sanitizer everywhere.
A word of caution: you practically get strip searched on the way in (because, ya know....weapons). I'm talkin' full on metal detectors and rent-a-cops. So, if you wear a belt with a huge ass metal buckle like I often do, just be aware of that.
I would also highly suggest sunscreen and a bucket hat, since shade DOES exist here, but is also pretty limited. This is essential if you plan to visit the mini water park inside. There's also a haunted house thing they apparently open around October. I've never been, so I can't tell you if it's any good or not.
All I CAN say is...Canobie Lake Park is worth about 3 pretentiously priced tickets worth a king's ransom out of 5.