Charles A.
Google
Surface-level luxury designed for people with more money than taste.
There is no singular issue that resulted in a bad stay, but the total sum of compromises and cut corners became obvious. It’s apparent that effort was put in by the developer, but only enough to be a trap for the wealthy rather than a celebration of luxury.
Spa:
There’s a beautiful fireplace in a common sitting area. It doesn’t appear to be functional, instead, it’s just a decorative resting place for Christmas ornaments and holiday kitsch.
The whirlpool spa isn’t hot enough to be therapeutic. It’s more like a wet conversation pit.
The caves are impressive and fun to explore, which makes it a definite highlight. You have to embrace your inner child to get the most out of it. It really feels like it was designed for kids to play in, but children aren’t allowed, so I’m not sure who it’s really meant for. If the cavern water was warmer, or the caves filled with steam, it’d be a better experience for adults.
There is a wall of Himalayan salt, but it’s in an open air space, so there’s no way to get any therapeutic benefit. It’s strictly there for the appearance and perception of health.
Rooms:
I got a superior room with an open bath and I liked the layout. The standing bathtub is a cheap plastic one, so it doesn’t retain heat and the water gets cold quickly. It was still fun and romantic; the thin walls ensured my neighbors knew everything I was doing in the room that evening.
The mattress is cheap and uncomfortable. You only get one pillow per person, and they are filled with lumpy foam. The duvet is a nice one, but way too thick; there was a problem with the thermostat in my room, so it was an uncomfortable night that was both too cold and too hot.
Bar:
Pricey drinks, but the ambiance was neat. It is all newly refinished, but artificially distressed. I would have far preferred they kept some of the original stonework visible and enhanced what was already there. Nothing here is authentic. You don’t have any other options though.
Restaurant:
The wait staff were very rude, some of the worst I’ve experienced. I am obviously American, so it might have been a better experience for a European visitor.
The food was adequate but unremarkable. I’m glad it was only a 3-course meal. Nearly every table had an obnoxious sparkler delivered with their post-dinner champagne. I suppose having a grand spectacle like that can distract you from the average dining.
Breakfast was great even though it was just a basic continental one. The bread was amazing, even by European standards. The coffee is Starbucks-branded and from a machine.
Overall, the experience was what the kids would call “mid”. For what they are charging, you can find better and more authentic luxury experiences elsewhere.