Andrea T.
Yelp
I have been coming to Portland since 1999. I have wanted to stay at the Inn for about the past 10 years, but I have never had the chance to do so. I follow them on Facebook and have read about them in Downeast magazine. I was so excited when my beau had the chance to come up with me to Portland. I immediately looked to see if the Inn had availability! I booked at 2am! I was so excited. I wrote to my beau and reminded him to pack sneakers so we could borrow the bikes and explore the island. We got a call from the Inn and they asked which ferry we would arrive on. We boarded the ferry, saw a gorgeous clipper in the bay, enjoyed ice cream from cliff island and were met on the landing by a driver. He mentioned several routes we could explore via bike and foot. The shuttle driver is really the only employee of the Inn who I can wholeheartedly recommend. When you first arrive at the Inn it's hard to know where the entrance is. If our driver had not gone through the green door I would have had no clue. The door has no indication that it is the entrance. If we had walked from the ferry I would have gone through the porch I suppose. Our driver carried our bag up to our room on the third floor. We signed the waivers for the bikes and went up to check our room. Our room was lovely. Very bright and and had views of the water and the side yard. So, we went back downstairs and decided to go for a bike ride. Well, gentle reader, there is a reason they have you sign a waiver. They really should not have people riding beach cruiser bikes on a hilly island. I wound up nearly plummeting to my death and unable to brake my bike and gave myself a concussion. We decided to turn back and perhaps have a cup of tea and celebrate that I was in fact not splattered on the rocks for seagulls to pick at. Once back at the Inn, we asked for hot water, which our host told us was hot, it was lukewarm, so he brought us two cups of piping hot water a few minutes later. We enjoyed these on the porch and watched the sunset. Yes, the sunset and the views are the only things this place has going for it. We then went inside to sit by the fire and warm up. It was nearly time for our reservation for dinner so we went over to the hostess stand and they told us we could sit wherever. Well the dining room was so cold that I kept my coat on and my beau brought me a lap blanket. It does not help that the tables are made of copper. I ordered an old-fashioned, to which our waiter asked if I wanted it made with bourbon or scotch, should have been the red flag, but I replied bourbon. He brought me a rather red/pink drink and demurred that they were out of cherries for the season. Reader, I don't know what he brought me, but it was not an old-fashioned. I have had many an old-fashioned sans cherry, and it did not taste like the dreck before me. I told him I did not want the drink nor did I want anything else in it's stead. If you can't make an old-fashioned, I doubt you can make a sazerac or a manhattan properly. On to the bread. Which would be the only thing I would really eat except for the ice cream on cliff island, a pilfered apple from someones front yard and bag of chips from cliff island. Praise to you cliff island! The bread was o-k. Not hot, not warm, but edible. Served with cold butter. Sustained me for 48hrs. Our clam chowder, had a 3 clams in it, 4 potatoes, a baby carrot, and a whole lot of cream. It really should be called cream with clams. It was good, but a stretch. Our lobster risotto was inedible and a complete waste of two beautiful lobsters. When we complain every, we can hear every word back in the kitchen. Extremely unprofessional. They doused it in pernod and you could only taste anise. I was freezing and my appetite had completely disappeared. We went upstairs and to bed by 9:30, so we were up at 555. My beau decided he would take a shower. Well two minutes in the shower and he shouts to me that there is no hot water. So, he must rinse off in freezing cold water. What do you do at 6am at an INN with NO Phones and NO hot water? Well call the front desk from your cell phone. The guy at the front desk was completely befuddled and there were moments of dead silence when he finally admitted he had no idea what to do. So, about 45 minutes later a man knocks on our door and asks if he we have any hot water. Boyfriend runs it again, after a minute it returns to cold. He gives us the key to a room 6 doors away incase we would like to shower there. He does tell us that this has happened before. So, breakfast is included in your stay and starts at 7:30. So there we are. Breakfast is even worse than dinner. Imagine burnt bacon, burnt undercooked oily pancakes. Unfortunately yelp is limiting my characters here, in closing I urge you to NOT to stay here.