Simone Righi
Google
A "Cruise" in Name Only – More Like a Very Slow Floating Café.
If your dream is to embark on a grand voyage along Vienna’s iconic Danube River, allow me to temper your expectations. This so-called "Blue Danube City Cruise" does not, in fact, cruise the Danube at all, but rather its significantly less scenic sibling, the Danube Canal—a waterway so uninspiring that even the ship itself seems to lose enthusiasm, turning around at what feels like a completely arbitrary location.
The views? Prepare yourself for an unbroken panorama of bridges, graffiti, industrial zones, and unremarkable residential complexes that could generously be described as "urban." If you're hoping for iconic Viennese sights, you won't find them here—unless, of course, your bucket list includes uninspired concrete structures and the occasional seagull who looks just as confused to be there as you are.
For 75 long minutes, the cruise inches along at a pace that makes walking seem thrilling. The most engaging activity? Watching diners on board try to balance their drinks as the ship makes its leisurely U-turn. Speaking of which, if you enjoy sitting on a boat, eating and drinking while the scenery does its best to lull you into a state of existential contemplation, this may be the tour for you.
On a positive note, the staff is polite, friendly, and genuinely trying their best. If only the route were as delightful as they are.
Final verdict? If you’re an avid collector of disappointments, this might just be your crown jewel. Otherwise, Vienna has far better ways to spend your time.
PS: This review was written while still being on the ship. Luckily, the return to the port is faster.