Lorelei S.
Yelp
An $84.00 Scenic Train Ride... Through Backyards and Chaos"
One of the adventures I was looking forward to the most on our trip was the scenic train ride on the Conway Scenic Railroad through the White Mountains of New Hampshire. It's advertised as: "The 11-mile 55-minute round-trip Valley Train recreates the classic mid-twentieth century experience of traveling from town to town by train. Enjoy the sights and sounds of a traditional small-town train as it ambles its way along the Conway Branch. Valley Trains run several times a day from May to November, boarding at our one-of-a-kind 1874-built Victorian North Conway train station at Norcross Circle in North Conway Village. The train features a snack bar. Please refrain from bringing outside food on the train."
Back in August I reserved two window seats in the dome car that would allow Julia and me to each have a window seat and face each other. I even contacted the booking agent prior to the reservation to make sure that I understood the seating arrangements, and she replied that I was correct that if I reserved seats B1 and B4 it would be what I wanted.
What she or the website doesn't tell you that your dream train trip will consist of standing in confusing lines, wandering around a chaotic parking situation, and then taking a "scenic" ride past the backsides of mobile homes and dumpsters. And you get to pay good money for this "adventure."
We arrived 45 minutes early (because we're those people who actually read instructions and try to overachieve) only to find parking basically didn't exist. After a nice brisk walk from what felt like another ZIP code, we discovered that even though we had printed reservations, we still needed "boarding passes" -- available only from a mysterious Will Call window hidden behind 200 people in a line evidently waiting for the same thing. (Note the sign for the Will Call Window in the picture and imagine 200 to 300 people standing in front of it.) No one working there seemed to know where it was, including the people working there.
After getting sent inside to a ticket window, outside to another ticket window, and back into the ticket window again, I finally found a clerk who told me I was finally at the right window. She asked for my name -- twice -- before finding my tickets in a second box like she was uncovering buried treasure.
As we were getting ready to board after a delay of 15 or so minutes, they tell us that the dining car we were scheduled to be on has been put out of service and if we want, we can get over-priced drinks and snacks from the train station to take with us. Boarding was another adventure. One small plastic step stool, set on a slant, to reach up about 15 inches to the steps for hundreds of people to climb up into the train. Very OSHA chic.
We then climbed the steps to the dome car, only to realize our carefully chosen window seats (B1 and B4) had magically transformed into H1 and H2 -- a window and an aisle. The train steward shows up, asks if everyone found their seats OK and turns around and leaves without waiting for an answer. So, I decide that I'll discuss the change in our seats when we get back to the station and settle in to enjoy our scenic train ride. When I asked later, the response was basically, "Yeah, we can change your seats anytime we feel like it."
And the view? Spectacular -- if you've ever wanted to see the backyards of trashy run-down trailers, the rear ends of local businesses, and a school soccer field. We also crossed a bridge (exciting!) and saw some scraggly trees and a cornfield that had already been harvested. After about five miles, the train stopped at a rundown train depot, the conductor switched ends, and back we went on the exact same track.
The best part? There isn't one.
So, if you're looking for a scenic journey through disappointment, disorganization, and the occasional chain-link fence, this train ride is for you. Everyone else: save your sanity and take a drive instead. You'll see more, spend less, and probably find better snacks.