Tom E.
Yelp
Before I go on, I would like to inform you when I was here, I was 18 and 19, and a large party animal. Parts of this review may be inappropriate- but what happened, happened- and I am here to share the experience(s). I assure you though, no animals were harmed in the writing of this review...
The time I stayed at the Hotel in Dam Square (NH Grand Krasnapolosky), I knew I was in for a treat- all I had to do was take a u-turn from the front door of the hotel and I was in the Red Light District. For someone who used to party 24/7, this was a dream come true. For more reasons than one.
First of all, it is actually pleasing to the eye. A large church at one end (looks great with the canal), and then shops and homes lining up both sides of the canals on the other side.
So 5 stars, you wonder? I think I can single handedly blame my chemical imbalances on this "sacred land". I leave the hotel in search for breakfast, not even 50 feet into entering De Wallen, I have people coming up to me in droves asking if I need cocaine or ecstasy (i'll take a bag of each ;)). Too bad that wasn't on my breakfast menu- but space cakes were! It made me reminisce of old days on rough streets in NYC...
After that, where else can you go window shopping for prostitutes? They open up "shop" shortly after lunch, in their windows, looking hot (or not)- ready for business. Pick what you like, talk to her for a minute, pay, and enjoy the ride! At the time, it was around 50Euro for a sucknf*ck- how would I know? I asked... And partook. I will never forget the look of shame/shit eating grin I had when I was done... On a different note, I was expecting a bunch of Dutch women in the windows, but it ended up being women from all over the world- I thought that was cool. So all in all, there are plenty of options. Also, make sure you do not take pictures, your camera will get f'ed up, or ganked. You do not want to piss off one the prostitutes (again, not from first hand experience!).
The shops in the district range from coffeeshops to sex shops to magic mushroom shops. You can get high for days and not even leave the block. Yea!!!
I also remember seeing the most epic street brawl ever- it was after a soccer game, a World Cup pre-qual, where the Dutch Beat the Irish. Well, let's just say the Irish got pissed and it turned into a 25 on 3 fight. I have never in my life seen 3 guys get bloodied up with broken bottles, and 2 of them getting tossed in the canal! Not even kidding!
An hour later in the same block, I saw 2 cops rip a guy out of his bar seat, and pull a bag of coke out of his rear, they did this on the street! That was real intense, as I was about 5 feet away!!! do NOT piss off a Dutch cop!
And last but not least, I also saw the LONGEST strand of firecrackers, ever- it was as long as the canal, I shit you not. This was for new years. I just remember that thing popped for at least 40 minutes. I bet cleaning that up was a pain!
So, what does this all have to do with whatever? As a crazy young'en, I did and saw some of the wildest stuff I could only dream of, all within a square mile of eachother. This is like heaven on earth. No wonder why they are going to make the changes they are!
I might have to relive this, as I have vacation coming up in July and October...
This is a must see for anyone looking for a interesting time!!!