Howie K.
Yelp
I don't care what the Beatles claim, money can indeed buy me love. I'll cut 'em some slack. I'm pretty sure the Fab Four didn't have kids when they composed that ditty.
(Narrative now shifting to Third Person. All the cool kids do it.) Daddy was in Santa Fe for some stupid work thing, again, and daddy was feeling pretty sorry, because daddy had been working a lot lately. When daddy left Albuquerque in the morning, his little ray of sunshine gave him a serious guilt trip: "I miss you, daddy! I wish you didn't work all the time." The guilt trip was consuming his sub-conscious, and when his convention was over, he wandered out of the hotel and decided to buy himself some love. He opened his Yelp app and searched "toys".
Doodlet's Shop popped up, and daddy seriously looked like a zombie as he stared at his phone, trudging the plaza sidewalks, following the map directions. Eventually, daddy found the little hole-in-the-adobe-wall, and man, the place was such a hidden treasure. Wall to wall, nook and cranny, Joy. Damn you, December, thought daddy. 'Tis the season for gifting, and this place is Mecca. So much to buy, so many people to please. What did daddy do? He bought a chintzy lil' token for his kid and a t-shirt for himself, designed by the Mekons, which he wears every Monday.
That chintzy lil' token was a wind-up scuba diver for the bath tub. The ray of sunshine loves it. And it bought daddy love.