Matthew C.
Yelp
This is the squarest 4 I've ever given. Never a 5, as long as they serve the three-star food I had experienced at such premium prices. Quite the anomaly: this enterprising monopoly of commerce staked firmly within the boundaries of a national park. You'd think the Dornan's would capitalize upon the location cheat codes they have so cunningly activated, and thusly deliver a spectacular product as a fitting homage to the location gods. You'd be wrong. What is found within is sadly pure capitalization, being nearly all stick and no carrot. You can nearly smell the money being counted.
The food at the Chuckwagon is sub-par in the kindest of light - teetering onto abysmal. I ordered the $15 Bison burger - with it's superlatively "generous" handful of Ruffles Potato Chips to accompany. I also bargained to try a bowl of their chili - I've won contests in chili, so I had to try it. Of the most remarkably delicious and charismatic Bison burgers throughout Colorado that I've had, I can attest that this did not join those ranks. This burger has more in common with a Sam's Club frozen patty than any of the great - cheaper, mind you - Bison I've had. It's a real shame they're using Bison, because it tasted like cheap, unseasoned beef. Near flavorless, I was taken aback by the way it looked versus how it tasted. Dry and lifeless - instead of rich and flavorful. Here's a hint: don't cook it so long, put a pad of butter on it when done, and grill some yellow tomatoes to top it with. Trust me.
The Chili was quite literally abysmal. I could not finish the small cup-sized bowl. At a $2 substitution charge levied to option for something other than the greasy handful of bagged ruffles they generously provide, I assure you, the reader, that the lion's share of your $2 goes directly towards replenishing their chili powder reserves. Of substance in that bowl, I can further attest that 2/3 of what was in my bowl was purely chili powder and water; the rest was pinto beans, and an indistinguishable meat product. It was bitter, sour, and spicy to a fault. I added a packet of sugar to assist with consumption, and it did nothing. Quite possibly the most seasoning-dense and terrible bowl of chili I have ever had. Let me do you a favor, Dornan's: quit making this item. Buy Hormel's Chili, and add two kinds of canned beans to make it more original. The money is what you're about, and this should maximize it further.
The final star is gleaned from the timeless backdrop, and is the only reason I spent $18 on a bland burger and a bowl of wetted chili powder. Their dining tables sit just underneath the Grand Teton mountain, which makes for a wonderful lunch no matter the substance. How tragic, that with more than half the battle won, Dornan's shirks the constant flow of free foot traffic, and participates in the money grab like all the other vagabonds outlying the great American road trip. What a wonderful letdown to behold - the "city of Dornan". So much potential.
Their Ice Cream cart across the way - assuredly stocked by blue bunny or something - was surprisingly excellent. It's a good value, and the most refreshing of items. I got a two-scoop Huckleberry and Mint in a cone, and we're still talking about it. Maybe it was just the scenery, but what an ice cream - and at under $4 as well. I'm sure it will be going up however. C'est La Vie!