Matt C.
Yelp
Dutch Wonderland is what you would get if you let Storybook Land have a sip of your beer, or stay up a little past bedtime to watch a scary movie. It's like the next step up in the natural progression of theme parks. If Storybook land is a walk, and Six Flags is a run, Dutch Wonderland is a very light jog.
Located in the SHOCKINGLY developed Lancaster PA, Dutch Wonderland is a small, Castle/Knights/Dragons themed...uh, theme park. (I thought ground zero for Amish/Mennonite territory would be all horse drawn buggies and wooden butter churns, but the area is absolutely "civilization" apportioned.)
The rides skew younger, with the upper echelon being 'tweeners; 10-12. Where as Storybook land has ONE kind of baby coaster, DW has 3; one of which has some punch to it. (Merlins Mayhem). The park itself isn't big, and you can get on every ride in a day, but it's not small either. There are a bunch of rides, and even a water park section, so everyone will find something they like.
The knocks on DW are minimal. The ride operators seemed to be operating on "heroin addict island time" at ALL times. I've never seen slower employees, and I have a season pass to Sesame Place. I'm talking FROZEN MOLASSES slow. It didn't seem to be an age thing either, as EVERY employee, from the seasonal teens, to the almost boomers were just ungodly slow. It's funny because there wasn't any sort of real line at any ride that we went on, but we still spent a fair amount of time IN said line because of how......slow......every.......one......did.......everything. It was annoying.
Another knock was their accessibility pass. Our daughter can't stand in line for very long (ironic), so she has a medical necessity to use an accessibility pass. But we never used it during our visit, because 1) lines weren't long, and 2) not a single park employee could FULLY explain how it worked. The thing made zero sense. One employee told us he had never even SEEN one before. As I mentioned, the lines were short enough that we didn't really suffer, but again, we got close because of how long the WAITS were despite the no line.
The concessions were, of course, insanely expensive, but they had a great variety, and it was $22 for general parking. But both of those things are to be expected anyway at any amusement park. (Oddly enough, I felt the gift shop stuff was reasonably priced.....still expensive, but not egregiously so, like with the food.) Also, I can attest that REGULAR TICKET PRICES are INSANE, but I used my military discount and got a decent price. YMMV
As for positives, there is one perk that blows other parks out of the water. DW lets you "preview the park," aka come to the park for the last THREE HOURS on the day prior your ticket day! Our tickets were for Thursday, so we went for the last three hours of Wednesday, and really, THAT was enough. We only went back Thursday because we already paid for it, and to try to convince my daughter to do the water rides. (She declined. ugh)
Overall, a great family vacay, but WAY too far for us to ever do again. Plus, my daughter was riding the Merlins Mayhem like a champion, so there's nothing left to conquer here.