Auriela N.
Yelp
The space is lovely, and after reading all the positive reviews, we decided to book a reservation for our brother's birthday. Unfortunately, it was all downhill from there.
We started with a round of cocktails mojitos for the table. They were gross. Completely unbalanced with not enough lime juice in the cocktail, served room temp/warm, with sad brown mint floating around the glass.
The staff left much to be desired, the bartender and server specifically. The fact that they couldn't speak Spanish clued us into the fact that we found ourselves in a tourist trap, where the cuisine is trying to cater to an international crowd and failing to make any dish that would be enjoyable.
The Pulpo appetizer was pathetic in portion size, so I couldn't tell you about the flavor because the serving size was so small no one could adequately taste the multiple orders that we purchased. The ceviche was pretty good, not life-changing. The Prawns were tasty, but how can you mess up fried shrimp? For the entrees, we all tried different items:
Salmon w/ corn cake and mango salsa - this was just okay it was Edible, so I guess there is a plus. The salmon was cooked correctly, but the flavors in the mango salsa seemed entirely out of place; corn cakes were dry and meh.
Short ribs- Dry, flavorless, inedible
Korean style rib eye- meat was cooked correctly, there was a basic prepackaged Korean sauce on it which was fine, the cucumber and tomato salad (which you would hope had some acidity) were just dry pre-cut, dehydrated, undressed vegetables (technically fruits) thrown onto the plate.
Seared Tuna w/ Asian salad - fish had no flavor, served on a slop of inedible salad that seemed like it was in a bag for weeks
Smothered Pork Chop - *Inedible*
Clearly we won't return. But our party of 9 will be sure to never recommend and go out of our way to suggest that everyone avoid this tourist trap at all costs. The wish when visiting this beautiful island is that there are ample local and Puerto Rican-owned businesses to enjoy; unfortunately, that isn't the case.
Talk to the locals to find the delicious Puerto Rican cuisine that exists, you just have to know where to go, and El Quenepo isn't the place to waste your time or your money at.