Amal S.
Google
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 4/5 – Ensign Peak: The View Was Great… From the Parking Lot
As a proud member of the “thick thighs save lives” club, I figured Ensign Peak would be a nice little jaunt. “Short hike,” they said. “Easy trail,” they said. Lies. All lies.
About 30 feet in, my lungs filed for divorce, my calves were sending hate mail, and I was bargaining with the universe like a man on a stairway to heaven — which is what this felt like, minus the heavenly part and plus a lot of wheezing.
I had to stop so many times that squirrels started checking on me like, “You good, big man?” At one point, I seriously considered rolling back down and telling people I saw the view in a dream.
BUT — when I did reach the top (eventually, heroically, and with great personal sacrifice), the view was absolutely stunning. I mean, you really can see the whole valley… and possibly your life flashing before your eyes.
Final verdict: beautiful, humbling, slightly traumatic. Bring water, a snack, and maybe a defibrillator if you’re built like me. Would suffer again. Probably. Maybe. Okay yes, but only for the photo. 📸💀⛰️