Derek G.
Yelp
Mmm, mmmm, Field and Fire. A tiny eatery right out of the hipster manifesto. Serving up mediocre breakfast with side of high end douchebaggery.
"Hipsters you say? In Michigan?" I know right? Having lived on the west coast where hipsters were all the rage, imagine my surprise when I moved to Michigan and found a little taste of coolest kids around right here in the ol' Midwest. Not the "authentic" kind of course. These are the ones that learned how to be cool from twitter. They got it down though. With as little as a scarf, tight pants, and a beanie they leverage their lack of any self worth into being part of something bigger. Something, Field and Fire-y. They have it all. Starting with the best staff.
No tangible job skills? Social IQ of a homeschooled teenager? Not a problem for Field on Fire. Additude is all you'll need. There you'll learn that serving garnished, non-gmo, hormone-free, free-range, locally sourced, free-trade, eggs is not only a valid life skill, but one you can lord over others not unlike being a doctor or a scientist. Your eggs are special and no one is getting them until they validate you as a person. Food service is not a job, it's a lifestyle choice and you've proved it with that avocado tattoo on your forearm. Breakfast is your life and you definitely won't be living at home in your 30's. They are a delightful people.
They don't stop at brilliant staffing either! Service at Field and Fur is top notch. Wanna opt out of the shitty coffee and over priced off brand guava juice? No problem, grab a wet glass off the buffet tray and use the same pitcher as 70 other people to get your own water. Then after you enjoy your $15 egg McMuffin you get to buss your own table and sort the dishes into neat little bins. What a relief! I hate paying more for food when they get to do all the services for me. Oh and don't forget you wipe down the table. (No one else will do it that's for sure.) Where do you leave the tip you ask? You don't have to. They already got it from you when you ordered. That's right, it was that 25% button that was pre-selected for you when they flipped that hip little tablet around to get your card. And they look right at you as you approve it thinking, well at least I'll get good service.
The environment at Feel on Fire is warm and welcoming in an elitest sort of way. You order and stand around waiting for one of the laptop wielding tiktokers to finish up their "screenplay" so you can get a seat. Oh but not for long! Cuz they will tell you waiting 5 minutes for you food is not allowed. Stand in line all day but after you order get outside. Winter be damned.
No mask mandates in you state? Not a problem here. They will yell at you from behind the counter to "mask up" before you're even through the door. They even give you masks (cuz no one has them anymore). Science has no business here. Virtue signals riegh (non-gender specific) king at Flee the Fire. Sit at a magic table if you want to have your mask off, (between bites only says the sign). Can't get the coof sittin' down right? Perhaps you'd prefer to sit in one of the classy outdoor hovels. That's why I got vaccinated, so I could freeze my ass off eating in a plastic tent out in the gutter.
Want to know more? Well these lovely little shitboxes rival homeless camps in their charm. Maybe it the way the gutters run through the inside of the shack or that the little space heaters have the temperature knobs covered with tape and a note saying "don't turn above 57 degrees, will blow fuse". (Over 57? Who'd wanna eat in that sauna.) They leak and drip on you while you struggle to stay warm on the yard sale lawn furniture. I loved it. Really gave me that, "what is happening right now" feeling.
So bring the whole family to Feelin' Tired, one at a time of course, there's no seating. And don't forget to tip cuz they deserve it?