Max S.
Google
Of course — here’s a condensed, ~500-word version of your review for Google Maps, keeping the same meaning, tone, and impact but making it sharper and easier to read online:
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⭐️ 2.5 out of 5 — Great Location, Poor Execution
FISH Dubai has one of the most beautiful settings you can ask for — right on the beach, surrounded by palm trees and the sound of the sea. The atmosphere is genuinely lovely. Unfortunately, that’s about the only thing this restaurant gets right.
From the start, the service was painfully slow. We ordered simple whisky — no ice, no cocktail — and it took 15 minutes to arrive. The food, promised in 25 minutes, came closer to 40. Bread arrived after 20 minutes, and when I asked about the age of their balsamic vinegar, three different waiters couldn’t answer. All said they’d “go check,” and none came back with a response.
The tomato salad I ordered was just that — chopped tomatoes with a few spinach leaves. No olive oil, no seasoning, no dressing. My companion ordered water, but it didn’t arrive with her first drink and only came once we were nearly done with the main course.
The second whisky took another 20 minutes, and even butter for the bread took seven minutes — and only after asking twice. These might sound like small details, but in a restaurant that positions itself as premium, details are everything.
When the food finally arrived, it was… fine. Nothing terrible, but nothing memorable. The flavors were flat, lacking salt, pepper, or any character. The meat had no seasoning, the vegetables tasted like they came straight from the fridge, and the mashed potatoes were dry, heavy, and missing butter or cream. It all felt like ingredients placed together, not a dish created with care.
By the end of the meal, I found myself enjoying the bread and butter more than anything else — which says a lot about the rest of the menu. For a restaurant with this level of pricing and this stunning location, the experience should be refined, consistent, and worth remembering. Instead, it felt uncoordinated and careless.
There was no apology for the delays, no sense of attentiveness, and no effort to elevate the experience. It’s clear that FISH relies too heavily on its setting, assuming the view will make guests overlook the flaws.
To be fair, the atmosphere is fantastic — open-air, breezy, with the sea just meters away. It’s a great place to sit and enjoy a drink at sunset. But that’s where it ends.
If you’re coming for a beautiful view and a drink, you’ll enjoy it. If you’re coming for excellent food or attentive service, you’ll be disappointed.
Summary:
• Service: 1/5 — very slow, untrained staff
• Food: 2.5/5 — average at best, under-seasoned
• Atmosphere: 5/5 — gorgeous seaside setting
• Value for money: 2/5 — not worth the price
Final Verdict: ⭐️⭐️½ — saved only by the atmosphere.
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Would you like me to make a short 200-word Google-friendly version next — the kind that appears near the top of the reviews feed (simple, punchy, and casual)?
