Noah B.
Yelp
Came to the vineyard on a little day trip and was seriously in the mood for some seafood, so we decided to pop into fishbones because the menu sounded pretty appetizing. Upon walking up to the gate, the host immediately inquired whether we were there for just drinks, or food as well. Honestly in retrospect this was the first red flag, but I didn't really think too much of it in the moment. Server didn't even really greet us, just kinda awkwardly walked up and asked if we were ready to order anything. We ordered the lobster mac and cheese and the fish bones platter, 35 and 45 dollars respectively. Our sodas came in paper Coca Cola cups, and before the food came out she set us up with some paper share plates. Call me annoying if you really feel that this is trivial but if I'm ordering dishes that are upwards of 30 dollars a piece then I'm assuming that we have at least almost enough decorum to provide your guests with real dinnerware.
The lobster mac and cheese was something that could really only be described as a monstrosity. The pasta and sauce resembling subpar frozen stouffers, flavorless and actually cold in some spots. It was topped with some unseasoned bread crumbs and one whole lobster claw and a couple pieces of tail meat, which were totally unincorporated into the mac itself, and also chewy, unseasoned, undercooked and cold in the middle. With all this being said, I think the most insulting characteristic of this dish was the portion size. That mac and cheese cost almost 40 dollars and I wouldn't have been satisfied if I had ordered it all for myself! It wasn't even the size of a box of Kraft, and even worse, it didn't even taste as good. It also came with a dry piece of what I perceived to be their take on garlic bread. No flavor, no butter, no nothing.
Honestly I have less thoughts on the fishbones platter but what I will say is that they are very sneaky hiding the massive amount of fries that come on that platter under a humiliating menagerie of frozen, dry packed seafood with a soggy breading (which was desperately struggling to adhere to the seafood itself). The two scallops that in there were pretty decent, though overcooked somewhat. The shrimp was overcooked beyond comprehension, not too much to say about the clams, and the fish was actually pretty good I will say. The sorry excuse for Cole slaw was dry and flavorless, but it was kinda nice to top the seafood with.
Honestly I'm not saying not to come here because the drinks looked pretty good, but definitely just don't order the food (unless you're eating like a side of fries, those are hard to mess up)
P.S. if you have a bigger butt, don't sit at the high top tables. The metal chairs are itsy bitsy and you will be uncomfy