Scott M.
Yelp
When my wife showed me a picture of a burger from Grand Trailer Park Taverna, it was obvious that I'd have to visit, and visit soon.
But it was after I read a copy of their menu and found their "Spiked Milkshakes" that I prioritised the visit to IMMEDIATELY.
Salted caramel. Maple bacon. AND MAKER'S MARK BOURBON. In a MILKSHAKE.
Ron Swanson is smiling upon you, Grand Trailer Park Taverna, and he is pleased.
Putting aside my obvious hobby for liver damage, let's talk about the burgers. No, actually, don't talk about them. EAT THEM. Go. Go now. Eat. Make "mmmmm" sounds. Revel in the glory that being an omnivore provides.
I had The Atomic and it was outstanding. My wife had the CB1, but was still hungry at the end. It's a petite cheeseburger, and were it not for a few other factors, I'd have encouraged her to get another one, and/or dessert.
And it's those other factors that things fell down for me at the Trailer Park...
It was very, very warm inside. I don't know if they don't HAVE air conditioning, or if it merely couldn't keep up, but with it being 33C outside, it really wasn't feeling much cooler inside.
Noticed a lot of people sweating on their brows, and it wasn't the good meat-sweats kinda way.
Secondly, and, well, this is a deal breaker for me: Smoke.
Grand Trailer Park Taverna has an "outside" balcony where people can eat and/or smoke. Unfortunately, this is still legal in Victoria, unlike many other parts of Australia.
The smoke does not stay outside. The doors to the balcony are not very good and regularly stopped open about 30-40 cm...and even when they were closed, it wasn't much of a seal, and the frequent in/out of people and lost staff meant that the stench of cigarette smoke very much permeated the tables near the balcony.
The Grand Trailer Park Taverna makes use of the non-table-service standard of numbered signs to indicate where a meal should be delivered - but the staff couldn't always spot the numbers and would tend to wander from inside to outside and then back inside -- I get that, it happens, tough to see them, but, the smoke, ah, well, nope, can't say "OK" to that.
And the final point that keeps this from getting four stars from me: The music. Sure, I'm a GET OFF MY LAWN old guy, but not everyone wants loud rap/hip-hop/whatever blasting as they have a meal. Maybe it was just the DJ of the hour, dunno, but something a bit more acceptable to a general audience would have been appreciated, and perhaps a touch softer.
I should add, were it not for the Spiked Milkshakes, I wouldn't have given three stars, it'd have been two. There are a LOT of burger places appearing in Melbourne right now, and I love that, but it's not the burgers alone that makes this place worth visiting, it's the rest of the menu.
The staff that we interacted with were incredibly friendly. Very helpful, seemed genuinely interested that we had a good time.
I would also like to take this opportunity to apologise to my wife if I was grumpypants because of the smoke & music & heat - I could tell she really wanted dessert and I was honestly too full to consider it, and with the other factors my motivation for sticking around was not optimal.
I promise next time we'll get the waffle stack thing, it looks amazing.
Which means, yes, there WILL be a next time. I just need to hope some of the issues above get addressed, or, we visit when it's not nearly as busy and hope for the best.