Lisa R.
Yelp
And Now For Something Completely Unacceptable....
Apparently some of the other reviewers are confusing the City of Fairhope with the Hampton of Fairhope.
The City is lovely.
This Hampton is bad. Very bad.
I gave it a second chance since the painters had turned the house into a thing of drywall sand and plastic.
It wasn't even my third choice.
The phrase 'never forget your first time' is so very apropos to this place. In so many ways.
I called first. Spoke to a pleasant chappie named Kevin. Who heard my tale of woe about the first visit and instantly upgraded me to a balcony room.
Several hours later, I checked in.
Greeted by a lobby freshly sprayed with Essence of Dirty Mop Water.
And on to the room.
Nothing like the feel of raw concrete under thin carpet to welcome you in.
Sheers and blackout curtains with broken pull wands.
A king bed with queen flat sheet. Good thing I was the only inhabitant or there would have been a fight for the covers that eclipses anything in Congress.
Cracked kidney-shaped lap tray.
Threadbare towels possibly discarded by a Motel 6.
And my personal favorite (although not familiar from personal experience):
The Recycled Frat House Bed. Complete with visible dips, dives and waves.
That mattress was more tired than....well, something that probably can't be referred to in a family publication such as TripAdvisor.
Pish, tosh, I hear you say.
Small complaints most likely confined to that one room.
Maybe so, but here's the crowning chocolate nut bar floating in the swimming pool:
An a/c filter so clogged with dust and the decaying fleshflakes of thousands of guests that it smells like nothing on Earth.
And you know what else was clogged? The a/c drain line.
Know what happens when the a/c drain line in a muggy Southern hotel room is clogged?
The moisture cycles back into the Southern hotel room and when one awakens in the morning, one is not refreshed. One is locked in battle with wet, clammy sheets and a newly established relationship with Rhinopharyngitis and Acute Coryza.
The towels were also refrigerated textile abominations.
All these elements combined to fracture my usual crystalline composure so I made A List.
And at the Front Desk, calmly asked the dark-haired young woman with the comb over to please notify Maintenance there were Issues with the Room.
She wrote down several, stopped, and said, 'Is that all?'
Sighing, I replied that was all.
'Good-bye', she said, clearly indicating she was finished with me.
'And have a good day.'
I did. After a hastily arranged visit to my GP and the purchase of an antibiotic and several other nasal drainage assistants.
So much for the vaunted Hampton Satisfaction Guarantee.
(Even if HHonors sends a night's equivalent of points, I'm still out the price of the stay AND what's worse, the price of the cure which is still being reckoned.)
NOTE TO ALL: Pick any of the three Hilton properties in Daphne. Much less expensive, much cleaner and in better condition. Drive a little, save your sinuses.