Sarah Wulan
Google
Well, my six-day at the Hard Rock Hotel Marbella turned out to be more of a broken record experience. Let me paint you a picture with the two stars I'm giving them, one for the genuinely great pools, another for the convenient beach tunnel.
Let's start with the hotel's signature scent, an aggressive herbal perfume that follows you around like an spiritual guide.
Then there was the pool bar staff, who performed an impressive synchronized routine of not seeing me. When I finally managed to order a non-alcoholic mojito (clearly stated, for health reasons), what arrived was the fully loaded version of alcohol. So, thank you for potentially compromising a guest's health!
Our room provided unexpected entertainment when the curtain decided to make a dramatic exit from its rails on night three. The maintenance team was quick to diagnose and they fixed it the next morning, absolute great job! However, the real comedy came when housekeeping "cleaned" our room, leaving behind what I can only describe as a dust museum. The bed sheets felt like sandpaper, and it took six desperate requests until 8 PM to get fresh linens.
The crowning glory? Discovering that tea, coffee and sugar inside the room are apparently first-night-only trophies. For a six-night stay costing serious money, being denied a sugar packet really makes you feel special as they said it was only for complimentary on the first night.
and about more than €600 "welcome" deposit – because nothing says "we trust you" like holding nearly a thousand euros against the possibility we might steal the towels. And the irony? This generous security gesture couldn't even secure us a sugar and tea packet after day one.
We travel quite a bit, but Hard Rock Marbella has truly composed a unique symphony of failures. The pools are lovely, but you can't exactly swim your way away from poor service.