AJ A.
Yelp
The Amsterdamse Bos, the Amsterdam Woods, the woods of Amsterdam, whatever you wanna call it, is surprisingly unwooded for a place with "woods" (bos) in its name.
I have been here often. It's a nice, big and a relatively quiet park. Yes, PARK. I wish this was a national park of some sorts with more natural and denser wooded areas, but alas. I guess I have too high expectations of a park that is situated below sea level and is only 80 years old, as of now.
I would give this park a higher rating if it had an app where you could actually select which route you wanna follow and that it would assist you with GPS and maps where you are within your route. I mean, it's 2015! The longest route is the 15/16km (10 mile) "purple" route called "Lange Boswandeling". I pre-marked the route using the iOS app "NewRoute" and made sure I would cover at least 16 KM.
I went late in the evening with some waterproof hiking boots which proved necessary in early January. It was dark, but not pitch dark. There was no artificial lighting besides the city lights around the edges of the park. I went during a full moon but alas, there were not many victims for me to prey upon. Perhaps the moon provided too much light for me to successfully stalk my prey.
At some point I noticed someone walking ahead of me in the same direction, all by themselves. So I picked up my pace. I was careful not to startle them (yet). When they noticed some foot steps, they turned around but I made sure to seem as inconspicuous as possible by halting instantaneously in my footsteps and looking at the air above and about me while whistling with my hands in my pockets. Yeah, pro techniques! When they started walking again, I made sure to pick up my pace, this time while panting. When they turned around once more and called out in fear, I dropped and pretended to tie my shoelaces. Yeah... pro stalking methods. I was inconspicuous as f*ck! When they started running, I had no choice but to also run... after them. Thankfully, it was a full moon so I had more stamina (and body hair) than usual. Later, the police was friendly enough to play a game of tag with me. Unfortunately for them, I'm really good at this game and so they lost. I tried shoving their loss in their faces but the sight of flashlights, and the sound of search dogs just took all the fun out of it so I left the scene without telling them goodbye. What sore losers.
Anyway, girls be careful when entering this park when it's dark and guys, stop being pussies and go for a hike! Leave your PlayStation for once. Get healthy!
Don't forget: "NewRoute". It's free. Also check out "Walkmeter", while you're at it.