PaulO3297
Google
It should have been perfect. The location is idyllic, near Port Antonio which is yet to be ruined by mass tourism, and the hotel itself is based on the shore of the beautiful Blue Lagoon. As series of wooden treehouses in the midst of the jungle, beautifully designed treading the fine line between natural eco tourism and high end travel.||The reality is it is an utter disaster caused by lazy and greedy management contemptuous of their guests once they've paid enormous sums of money to be there.||I booked the Hummingbird treehouse. Cited by many reviews as by far the most interesting of the tree houses, and also the most simple. Open to the outdoor air, outdoor "waterfall" shower and balcony. A real opportunity to spend a few nights in the middle of nature.||When I arrived, after the bored and uninterested receptionist acknowledged me, I was told it was unavailable and I had been "upgraded" to another room. The room I got was a bungalow. It was not a treehouse, but a wooden box on the side of the path next to some trees. Whereas Hummingbird was open to the wider jungle, the box bungalow was not, whereas in Hummingbird you lived with the natural breezes, the bungalow box had a broken air conditioner set to 17 degrees and wouldn't switch off until I eventually found the fuse box and pulled the fuse out. Whereas Hummingbird had a balcony where you could sit outside and enjoy the environment, the bungalow box did not. Whereas Hummingbird had an outdoor waterfall shower, all the bungalow box had was an indoor bathroom with barely any outdoor light and resembled a prison cell. No design at all, and the "shower" was corroded and dribbled out water. Clearly the bungalow box needed a lot of maintenance but they still considered that an "upgrade" over the room I had specifically reserved and paid for months ago||The manager said my room was unavailable due to an unforeseen maintenance issue. In reality one of the other staff slipped out the truth to me later in the stay. It was undergoing long term planned maintenance. They'd planned this maintenance while still taking bookings for the room. In the weeks before I arrived when I was emailing them about my plans did they let me know it was no longer available? No. They didn't care in the slightest. The room I had specifically wanted, and the only reason I would have come to this hotel, was never available to me, but they were still content to take my money and not tell me.||Be prepared for a shocking food experience here. It is ridiculously over-priced and exceptionally long times to wait. One night I happened to be enjoying a beer at sunset and was the first to order when the restaurant opened at 7pm. The staff had just written up the night's menu on the chalk board and happily took my order. 5 minutes later he had to tell me what I ordered was "no longer available", along with one of the other of the total of 5 options for that night. How could they have run out? Wasn't I the first customer that night? It was never available in the first place and should never have been written up on the board, but to have done so would have shown how utter limited the menu was. ||Then it took over an hour for them to serve the food. Only two other tables joined in the restaurant in that time, and were equally delayed in the food service. Were the staff really busy and unable to cope? Hard to see how. They weren't busy at the bar making drinks, or serving food. They just sat you at your table, took the order, and then largely vanished for long periods at a time. I couldn't even find a staff member to get me a check to sign at the end of the night, so just walked off.||Breakfast was equally bad. Very limited options, no fruit or fruit juices, and some food was just diabolically bad. I've never had rock hard dehydrated slices of sweet potato before, and I hope never to have to suffer that again in my life||Other staff were just as bad. Arranging to go kayaking on the lagoon I was told the staff would be down at the dock to assist me. They never showed up until I had to walk the long steep steps back up to the reception to ask again. When shown into my bungalow box cell the housekeeper showed me the wet bar, and realised it was not properly stocked. I asked him to have that sorted. They never did. ||Sometimes you expect a hotel to be cheap and bad, with minimal service, and you just accept it. But this place could be so good if people cared. It seems to think it is a high-end luxury experience. The location and the rooms could be. But bad maintenance, staff who clearly are not respected by management and no longer care, and sheer contempt of customers by changing reservations when you allow customers to pick specific rooms means that this is little better than a grossly over priced youth hostel.
