Sean B.
Yelp
Still fuming, as we check out. Literally my angriest review out of over 2500 I've written on Yelp.
We heard about this place last year from a mutual friend who has been coming to Sunseeker for 10+ years. While we're not hardcore nudists/naturists (not that there's anything wrong with that), we do love us some tanline-free sunbathing, some midnight skinnydipping in the pool, cocktails in the hot-tub in the buff. Kind of what being adult travelers sans children means to us. Case in point, this conversation endorsing Maui Sunseeker happened at Mokule'ia Beach on Oahu's North Shore, as we were soaking in the sun with some friends about a year ago.
So we planned. And saved vacation time... no small feat for me as a government employee with a very rigid time accrual system. Saved up money for the flight, for the rental car, for the resort, for everything... as one does. And we booked it. And we were so excited. And off to Maui we came. First time for me. Maybe the last, as it turns out.
We arrived and were promptly told at check-in that it's not the Sunseeker anymore, is the Kohea Kai. Apparently we got an email 10 days prior, in our spam folder, conveying this in small print. And it's not locally gay-owned anymore, but newly acquired by a straight couple in California. And since they want to appeal to a broader audience, like every other resort already in Maui, it's now "swimsuits required" and strictly enforced 24/7, despite the fact that there's signage all over the resort reminding people they're entering a clothing optional environment.
I'm not a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure that there's something about changing a product between the time of purchase and the acquisition that constitutes an egregious and fairly obvious breach of contract. If you buy a Camaro convertible online for $30,000 and go to pick it up and they say "Oh, yeah, it's not a convertible anymore, here's a hardtop coupe for the same price" we have a problem. Coupes aren't worth $30,000 because you pay more for the convertible top. And yes, they offered to refund our money, if we wanted to scramble to find another hotel in Maui instead, at the last second, with no knowledge of local geography or local hotels. Which would be great. Except the entire decision to make a trip to Maui was based on staying at Sunseeker. Undoing their bait-and-switch wouldn't simply require a new hotel, it would require undoing our plans to come to Maui, not booking the hotel or the car or the flight and going back in time two months to when plane tickets were inexpensive and booking a trip to Puerto Vallarta, which would have been our move if we knew that the Sunseeker was closing up shop and being replaced with a non-gay, clothing required, conservative and conventional hotel like the Kohea Kai. Have you ever found yourself on an island, 3000 miles from home, realizing that you were there under false pretenses and pretty much stuck unless you spend $1000 on last-minute alternate travel plans? Because now I can say I have.
Too late to make viable alternate plans, we stayed. It would have been a hassle to rebook everything as we were settling into the island, we didn't know anything about other resorts in the area, and nothing on the island has what we were looking for, anymore. Resigned that we literally blew a few thousand dollars on something that no longer existed, and already ON the island, we figured we would have no choice but to make the best of it; thought that maybe by the end of the trip we'd have had a fantastic time here and would be "over it" - Well, we didn't, and we aren't.
Apparently a lot of people canceled their plans when they realized about the switch, because it was a ghost town despite it being a three-day holiday weekend. We met a grand total of three people here in four days... A racist couple from Texas speaking badly of Mexican immigrants... and a frustrated man in the hot tub who, similarly to us, booked it with one expectation and was furious upon check-in that he was also duped. He'll never come back, either.
We're going to talk to our lawyer friends back in California about this when we return, because our vacation days and vacation funds are blown for the entire year, and we could've potentially had a fantastic time in Puerto Vallarta this week, had they given us enough heads-up to make a different choice. Clearly, they were far more concerned about keeping our money than about ruining our vacation.
For those of you who are reading this because the same thing happened to you, and clearly there will be dozens if not hundreds of you, we're sorry that you were screwed over too. Maybe we'll see you in Puerto Vallarta next year. Once we replenish our zeroed-out vacation days and zeroed-out vacation funds, that were unceremoniously stripped away from us by this new resort.
Hey, as long as the straight tourists have yet another option... right?