Jonathan T.
Yelp
To quote the immortal Steely Dan, sometimes life calls for the need to 'Dine Behind The Wheel' ('Deacon Blues', from Aja, 1977). Yesterday was one of those days. Bouncing from errand to errand, a familiar stop at KTA included the pleasures of locally-grown gargantuan Sharwils (avocados), a mandatory trip to the seafood section (calamari steaks, black cod, salmon bellies, local ono, fresh and frozen), and the deli section for some takeaway on-the-go Dine Behind the Wheel fare. No time to spare. Most of it either overpriced or uninspiring. Then one item leapt out at me. Behind the thin clear plastic wrap, a hulking, unruly mass of marinated beef, grilled onions, red bell peppers, green peppers, and some white colored cheese that had a consistency of semi-melted (or was it sauce?!?) threatening to escape a semi-soft, partially toasted roll that wasn't quite a foot-long, yet looked to be quite the motorcar meal. 'Karl's Kitchen, Miscellaneous', the sticker label reads. 'Miscellaneous?!?' Could I at least get a tiny hint or qualifier as to what that is? Never ever EVER seen that on a takeaway deli food label. Lazy labeler? One with a wicked sense of humor? WYSIWYG? Fuck Around and Find Out? All of the Above? And who the Fuck is Karl? He has a Kitchen Somewhere? Where? Hmmm. And what IS this thing? A 'Philly Cheesesteak?' Perhaps. But it has more of a KBBQ consistency to the meat. Definitely more fusion than Philly. It's Hawaii. Surprised?
About to grab it. Yet, trying to adhere to Meat Holiday mode these days. Haven't been able to make the break completely, despite dietary and moral motivations to go fully plant-based, I realized a mostly pescatarian lifestyle is a more reasonable reality (dietary and moral concerns aside, i am hopelessly trapped in a sushi and fishy addiction-esque thug life and probably will have to abide these addictions for who knows how long). Hmm, well, an occasional meat excursion, or micro-dalliance. Gotta be honest, that's where it's at. Yes, self-loathing, but in acceptance mode. Grab the slightly warm, slightly gooey, yet semi-firm mess, and GO.
On the road. Meat. Tender, Chewy. Not too much fat/tendon. Thankfully. Just Enough. Grilled Peppers and Onions, soft, but not slimy. A bit of crunchiness still. Cheese, yes, as imagined, part cheese and part sauce from being pressed inside the unruly mess. Bread. Holds up but most of the contents burst out of it, sparing my shirt but causing quite the splatter of veggies and stray meat strands, but deftly grabbed and collected before the precious seats are stained and slippage into car crevasses avoided. It helps that this delicious mess wasn't so messy after all, mostly due to it not being over-sauced like many many sandwiches are. Carl's Jr./Hardees, I'm lookin' at you... Meant to post a pic of this 'Karl's Kitchen Miscellaneous' Monster, but I was Dining Behind the Wheel. SAFETY FIRST. Hands were not Free. DONE!