Keith A.
Yelp
If negative 5 stars were possible, this dump would rate it. Read the reviews and decided to stay here anyway. Big mistake. What choice did we have short of camping? Never again. The "cabin" we stayed in needs to be condemned & burned to the ground.
First, some background. My family used to own a cabin up here at Alpine. One of the 50 private residences on Forest Service land. My folks sold the place in the '96. I have many a fond memory of summers up here and when I was a teen, I even worked at the lodge (3 or 4 owners ago).
This was to be a special trip down memory lane with my wife & daughter for a few days. Oh, it was a trip....and we have some memories!
One thing I'd like to say right now, why is this called a "resort"? It's no where near a resort and any images a resort conjures up in your mind, this place will surely miss the mark. In my day, it was Lake Alpine Lodge.
Our experience: brought up their website, the pictures look inviting. Tried to envision which cabins were which based on the descriptions. I remember them being cabins 1, 2, 3, etc. Now they are "Sequoia", "Lodgepole", "Tamarack", etc. Cute and definitely more marketable than cabin 1, 2 or 3.
Planning on a two day stay en route to Tahoe, I opted for the "Jeffery Pine" at $150 per night, two night minimum. Ok. A bit steep but hey, I really want to do this. I tell my wife & daughter the pictures look good but the reviews are not so hot....let's plan for the worse & bring sleeping bags, shower shoes, etc. We'll just make the best of it if it's bad. We all agreed we were there to hike & visit all my old haunts....not to stay at a five star resort.
Arrived and still hoping all was going to be ok, we checked in to Jeffrey Pine. The guy handling check ins was nice, but....in my opinion....had smoked a little too much weed building surf boards in Santa Cruz. Not the sharpest tool in the shed, but hey....he got us checked in.
"Oh look, it's old cabin 3." I tell my family as we drive up to it. Hmmm. Reading the reviews about the deck giving way on one Yelper, I'm wondering if this is the same cabin. We make it to the door, open it and my wife & daughter burst out laughing, "this doesn't look like the website pics!" I grimace and furrow my brow. Glad they are laughing but this just isn't going to do.
I go down to see Surfer Bob in the general store and politely ask if we could see "White Pine" next door if it's available....and possibly switch since it's the same price. Surfer Bob needed to take a "hit" on this one cause I think this request was about to tax every bit of gray matter still functioning in his brain. Finally, he guessed that would be alright.
"White Pine"....aka cabin #2, was only slightly better than "Jeffery Pine". At least it had a newer deck and a moderately better view of the parking lot. We took it. And even though it was all Surfer Bob could do to switch it, he made it happen.
Well, it was worse than expected. Lots of pics will tell their own story but from the leftover scrambled egg goo still in the sink to the couch that had so much "body grease" on it we thought a homicide may have been committed there....we knew it was going to be a no bare feet, sleeping bag only and lots of booze kind of stay.
I was willing to cut our losses...$300...and just head for Tahoe, but my wife & daughter, bless them, really wanted to do our planned hiking & reminiscing with me.
We spread towels on the filthy couch and made our way to Bear Valley General Store for some much needed alcohol to get us thru the night...along with some Windex & paper towels.
We never could get the little table clean enough to not be sticky & had to sacrifice another one of our towels to act as a table cloth. We never did shower. We refused to cook after spying mouse turds....and later said mouse...in the drawer with the silverware. The stains on the carpet meant no shoes off till bedtime...and even then....with copious amounts of alcohol coursing through our bodies, sleep evaded all of us.
When dawn came, we arose, went for a fabulous hike all around the lake as I entertained them stories of my youth. We got back around noon and said in unison, "To hell with another night in that place! Screw the $150...let's pack up and head to Tahoe!"
Surfer Bob wasn't in the general store to check us out but his wife, Mary Jane, was equally as perplexed about the process. When she started to run my credit card again, I said "they already ran it and I signed for it yesterday." Mary Jane tried to tell me it was to "close out" the sale but I was skeptical. She showed me the receipt. "See? Same authorization number."
Then why two signatures? I better not be charged $600 for my night in hell. I was nice and said, "Ok, just never seen that procedure before."
Mary Jane never asked if everything was ok or why we were leaving early and I didn't volunteer it. I didn't ask for a refund or discount. I knew it would be denied.