Jason Bennett
Google
We came for a serene boat ride across the peaceful waters of Lake Naivasha. What we got was a full-blown aquatic safari-meets-comedy special, courtesy of our guide Isaac—who, based on his vibe, storytelling, and enthusiastic bird misidentifications, was either drunk… or just spiritually free. Either way, it was magical.
Isaac greeted us like we were old friends at a family reunion he didn’t RSVP for. He confidently introduced every animal, even when they weren’t there. “Look, that’s a fish eagle!” he’d yell, pointing at a passing plastic bag. “Very rare.” Was it confusing? Yes. Was it entertaining? Absolutely.
As we skimmed across the water, hippos popped up like deranged pool noodles, staring at us like we were the ones invading their lake—which, fair. Isaac assured us they were “relaxed today,” which I now understand is boat-speak for “hold very still and don’t make eye contact.”
At one point, he stood up dramatically, pointed toward the horizon and declared, “That… is Uganda!” Spoiler: it was a clump of reeds about 40 feet away. We clapped anyway. Respect.
But all jokes aside, it was incredible. Pelicans flew overhead. The lake sparkled. Waterbucks stared at us from the shore like confused Disney extras. And somehow, amidst all the chaos, Isaac navigated the boat like a pro, cracked jokes like a stand-up veteran, and gave us a ride we’ll talk about forever.
10/10 would get on that sketchy wooden boat with our slightly-sloshed safari savant again.
