Eric S.
Yelp
BIG SPENDER$
One of Puerto Rico's classiest restaurants is a sizeable splurge.
My wife and I always go out for a fancy date night when visiting her family in the Caribbean. On our most recent trip to PR for New Years' 2024, we chose Lala as our destination de jour, having followed them on Instagram for many months. Lala sits at the north end of the Mall of San Juan and valet parking is advised.
It was busy when we arrived around 7pm and got our drink orders in shortly after being seated. I loved the mezcal bramble ($19), a potent cocktail with a wonderfully smoky flavor profile, muddled berries and mint sprig. They also had non-alcoholic cocktails for $12.
Lala has a separate menu for their raw bar, which had lavish offerings. My wife got a half dozen oysters (6pc for $32)--one each with lemon, tropical granita, passion fruit mignonette, tomatillo & bacon, nampla & papaya, and tomato XO with ponzu gelee. I'm not into bivalves, but I trust my wife's opinion that they were "phenomenal".
If you're particularly affluent (or just feeling rich for a day), you can add 1oz of Siberian Sturgeon caviar ($130) or Royal Ossetra caviar ($220) to your dining experience. I'm pretty sure I saw shaved black truffle as an option, too.
The Ora King Salmon nigiri (2pc for $8) was brushed with a sweet miso mustard and topped with scallions. The crispy rice (5pc for $18) were delicious oval rice cakes with spicy tuna tartare, mirin and chives. We also got the Hamachi crudo ($24), sashimi-style yellowtail with roasted pineapple, avocado, radish, and jalapeno.
My wife got the dayboat scallops ($40) served with cauliflower, crispy leeks, bacon-sherry vinaigrette and parsley oil. They were cooked perfectly with tasteful accompaniments. The swordfish schnitzel ($32) was an alternative take on a classic cutlet which came with a lightly dressed arugula and fennel salad. The creamed spinach ($10) was mediocre, the only weak link in an otherwise terrific meal.
Bread = 5
Circuses = 4.5
Desserts were $14, aside from the boozy Amaretto affogato which was $18. Their tres leches was of the highest caliber: a coconut cake soaked in coquito (an eggnog-like specialty from the island), served with a mascarpone Chantilly and toasted merengue.
The atmosphere is intimate and beautiful. It's connected to the Mall of San Juan, so you'll see a few diners dressed casually but spruce up if you're planning to eat here. Our server was fine, however there was a long gap between dinner and dessert where we had trouble tracking him down.
My biggest hangup is that Lala charges for water. I'm no stranger to this practice, having encountered it at Michelin-starred restaurants like Chicago's Sepia, Next, and a few others, but Lala hit us with charges for REFILLS. That was absurd and something I would've protested had I not been in a medicine-induced haze all night. This wasn't VOSS or Perrier, either, I'm talking standard table water in a clear glass bottle. When our waiter asked if we wanted "flat or sparkling", I should've known that bullshit would rear its ugly head on the final tab.
* TL;DR *
Lala is one of the finest restaurants on the island, but get ready for a potentially eye-watering bill.
For those planning on making a reservation here, be prepared to shell out upwards of $250 on dinner for two, though perhaps that should be expected from a place co-owned by *THE* Bad Bunny and run by award-winning chef Guillermo López (formerly of New York's famous Le Bernardin, where a meal costs a small fortune).
I held off on posting this review for a long time as I couldn't decide whether or not Lala was too pretentious. Ultimately, I decided that while the high cost deters me from returning, I'd still recommend them. The food was outstanding and the vibes were great. Service was generally attentive but the water thing was awfully sneaky.
Getting dinged not once, but twice for basic water was a 'WTF' moment of ritzy nonsense. I considered docking them a star for this outlandish tactic, but as the meal itself and overall experience was delightful, I'll still give them the full "cinco estrellas".