Jason E.
Yelp
Believe it or not, I've always viewed the airport terminal as a place of freedom and hope; the final breath of fresh air before being locked into a metal tube for 2, 6, or 14 hours.
Stansted ruined that. Thanks to Stansted, I now dread going to the airport. If Stansted airport was a low-cost carrier, it would be called Ryanair. Like Ryanair, this airport appears to be designed to make you as miserable as possible, to cram as many individuals into a box as possible. And just how do they pull off such an incredible feat? Narrow walkways and mazes. And probably a bit of forced perspective; there is no way there's as many people as the mind perceives because it feels as though all 20 million of Stansted's annual passenger traffic was in one room at the same time.
It starts the moment you walk in the door. The chaos of the check-in desk. Thousands of people all stupefied by the same thing: each other. TOP TIP: Remember the five 5 D's of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive, and...dodge. This is essential to your survival. Then you make it to security. Security is the last opportunity you'll have to enjoy personal space and structure in your life, so take a moment and respect the orderliness of it all and prepare yourself. Think of it as purgatory preceding your inevitable descent into Hell. You exit security into a long, narrow, sparkling, snaking walkway. Very narrow. Flanked on both sides by duty-free shops. Maybe you would like to shop if you had some personal space or room to navigate, but you don't; this river of mindless bodies is studded with boulders and class five rapids.
You might think at some point you'll enter the large expansive of the departure hall, like the old, pre-construction Stansted (which was still miserable). Nah. They've managed to shrink the usable area of this massive building by adding more opportunities to make money. Bars occupy what might have made a nice location for a bank of chairs or another departure gate screen. Nah. I'm convinced the entire redesign deliberately leads to this point. You've only just started your holiday and you're already burned out. You need a drink. How convenient! We've put a bar right here! Right in the middle of the open space! It's a circle! So inventive, right? Come now, give us your holiday funds for an overpriced beer. The entire place is scam. It's so clear now (and genius, I might add.)
If you can resist, keep walking towards the tram to the outer gates. Around here to the left, you'll see a nice area with windows and considerably fewer people. If you don't mind sitting on the floor, or standing, there's some fresh air to be had, and nice big windows to remind you of the outside.
And no, I will not cut them any slack for construction when the design is so clearly flawed, and so clearly intended to lighten my wallet. They should be ashamed.
There is, however, one small advantage for us Americans on the return leg: the passport check. We recently arrived to yet another 20 million passengers, all crammed--literally crammed--into the tram from the outer terminal and dumped off at border control. Thankfully, 95% percent of the passengers are EU citizens. Enjoy the mile-long line, guys. We were through the "other passports" line in five minutes. 'Merica.
In summary, avoid this place if at all possible. I know it probably isn't possible, but even Luton is a better choice.