Fox E.
Yelp
So give up addictions to Nachos
And stop dating jerk boys that are Machos (cough cough)
Instead come get real Mex
Cuz it's better than sex
And you'll find it right here at Los Guachos
The thing to order is Pastor
It's never tasted quite this good before
It totes changed my life
Like going under the knife
And becoming Barbi's cash-cow wh**e.
One of the best real Mexican spots in the whole USA. One of the best 5 things to eat in Columbus.
What to get: Pastor
Why: It's so good you can Pastor-bate to it
What to listen to while eating: Pastor dutchie on the left hand side
Los Guachos is one of the best taquerias in the history of the world. They may well be the best tacos in Ohio. Their Pastor, which are the reddish meats made from pork shaved off of the big rotating spindle, are second-to-none on the planet.
The service here is wonderful and remarkable and friendly too. Some of the girls working here seemed to have a crush on me, which is super sweet of them. Barbi thought it was wonderful as well, and considering she has Mexican in her - and I don't just mean when she gets laid with dudes from South Of The Border - but considering she has Mexican blood - and I don't just mean from a guy she kills - then I highly recommend you come and give it a try.
The greatest Taco spot in Columbus now has a second location up north, and I came upon it by accident - not literally but yes that too - because I was trying Kung Fu Tea in the same Plaza! Talk about the best plaza in the world, then. But this one is my fave because it's the one with the most memories for me.
I always come here for a Pastor taco or two, and it still remains one of the greatest Pastor tacos you will ever have in your life. There's a reason why it's what they are known for and what they promote and what they are famous for and there's a reason why half the dishes on their menu incorporate the Pastor.
Not to be confused with Taxi Los Guachos, which is actually a form of Uber founded in Sonora, perros.
Then again I might go back to the other location in future because I have a soft spot for it, it's next to KFT, and you should try it out too. It also has less wait times, incredibly nice servers across the board, and your church Pastor comes here for Pastor too.
So it's my fave place in town for tacos, ahead of the great taco truck, Taco Nazo.
Now I have to go and "Guach" the election results, but that's "Nazo" bad because Biden is about to be declared the winner. First, let's rap.
Some people say I'm girlie, others say I'm MACHO
Some people know real Mexican food, others just eat NACHO
I cross the Rio Grande at will, you just watch RIO BRAVO
And when I'm in Columbus, I come straight to LOS GUACHOS
Barbi doesn't like to suck but me I love to SWALLOW
Anything for Barbi or for money is my MOTTO
I've had some problems down in Houston just like the APOLLO
But when I want some Tacos in Columbus, I hit LOS GUACHOS
I've been to South America, the Mid East and MORROCCO
I've been labeled deep AF while others think I'm HOLLOW
Some people think I'm Gandhi, Lennon, others say I'm PSYCHO
But one thing that I know is that I love my LOS GUACHOS
I like to pretend I'm okay but that's just my BRAVADO
Sometimes I feel so cold inside like Frances was in FARGO
Sometimes I feel so frozen I'm like Barbi in CHICAGO
But when I'm in Columbus, f*** me, I get LOS GUACHOS
WHAT