Glen N.
Yelp
OK, there's no twists or loops or drops... but don't look at it the wrong way: think of it as the the hugest, most peaceful, prettiest, and most unstationary bench in Disneyland.
Who could hate the Mark Twain? I mean, besides people between 8 and 34?
For the most part, I love Mark Twain because it's a chance to relax. It's like a 105 foot long bench on water. You get to walk around, too, so it feels like a party. A weird, boring 12 minute party with no food or drinks, but a party nonetheless. So stop giving me grief about my party hat.
Anyway, it is similar to the Columbia which, historically, is more "Piratey" and less "Slavey", but the advantage here is three different levels for which to be bored.
You pass by the Haunted Mansion, Splash Mountain, Davy Crockett's Explorer Canoes landing, Pirate's Lair on Tom Sawyer Island, Settler's cabin (which used to be on fire), the Indian Village, Big Thunder Mountain, Big Thunder Falls, some animals*, the Sacred Indian burial ground (which I hear Disneyland is trying to put a pipeline underneath). There you will see an Indian Chief, trying to give you a high five. I think his name is Chief Downlow Tooslow.
*I love it because you can look for the Disneyland cats, which my friend Mike thought were audio-animatronic until we saw one licking his own butt. Disney's creations do NOT do that. Could you imagine Abraham Lincoln doing that?
I can.
That WOULD be a great moment.