Ohura S.
Yelp
It is appropriate that the Japanese word for complain is Monk-u because that is what you will do when you leave, overcharged, full of bread and burnt vegetables after hours of waiting for your food.
It's the kind of place people assume is good because of something they saw on the internet. But inasmuch as if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail, if you have a pizza oven, that's the extent of your repertoire. It was a joke. We were served dried up vegetables that we chewed like jerky. The first pizza was meh and didn't improve after serial courses of the same thing. THE SAME THING! You couldn't even cut through some of the food.
The last straw was that there was dirt on the mushrooms--that manure-y bitter taste. I get that you might brush mushrooms instead of washing them but you need to do it thoroughly.
Service was absurdly slow and clumsy. I couldn't believe someone recommended this place to us. It was the stupidest experience I've had in a long time. (It turned out that they'd just watched the tv show.) Winelist was meh, but you kept drinking because there was nothing else to do. It was excurciatingly awkward, boring and unending.
It was not just us--a party of six (seated at the farmhouse table) alongside us was laughing in an ironic way because the meal was such a joke. The courses took forever and everyone looked at each other when each course arrived as if to say, "This is really what we waited for?" The downstairs dining room was full of tourists. It is NOT as some have befuddlingly compared here, a KAISEKI meal.
Kyoto is full of excellent restaurants, many of which are well, well under the tab you'll pay for the menu at Monk--some are exquisite, some are simple but well executed. Do not waste your time, your money or your opportunities at this place. There is nothing to redeem an overpriced, poorly executed, unimaginative meal of pizza dough and dried vegetables. I imagine the place is geared toward tourists who visit the city, eat there once and think maybe the place had an off night. It has never been good.