Justice Cat ..
Yelp
Things I wish I had known before going to the Polynesian Cultural Center
Imagine that you thought you were going to a Marine Life Conservation Center and find out it's actually Sea World, where marine life is exploited and orcas do tricks for the audience's pleasure. That is the Polynesian Cultural Center.
The entire operation was built and is operated by Mormons. Every person working there is a Mormon, and there's a creepy vibe as a result. I asked if anyone who worked there wasn't Mormon, and they said they "weren't sure."
The event starts with a weird dance and song routine by the students set to a dance beat to get the crowd "pumped up" before they open the doors.
Once they open the doors, there is a canoe show where students, again in costumes, float around on different canoes representing different islands sing a cringe-worthy song about family as they float by and wave and smile and sing and dance for the audience in a way that is forced and unnatural (also set to a dance beat). The sound is horrible, the song is horrible, and I was horrified that I signed up for this. I actually thought this would be a learning experience.
Students attending Brigham Young University are, for the most part, forced to wear costumes and pretend to be indigenous "characters" that kind of stand around awkwardly in various "scenes" that represent each island. These have been staged for your amusement. In all fairness, some are actually from those islands on Oahu studying for school, while others are just of that ancestry, but it was all forced.
The tour guides are not experts on Polynesia but instead memorize extensive scripts that they repeat from memory, but they can't answer questions that aren't covered in their script. Meaning that you are fed exactly what the Mormons want to you to know and their own telling of Polynesia. It does not come across as genuine or authentic because it is, in fact, not at all genuine or authentic.
The dinner food is not good with the exception of the pig. Think: "wedding reception at a Radisson hotel." And don't expect a Mai Tai. It's Mormon, so when I asked for one, they didn't even know what a Mai Tai was. They laughed when I told them it was alcohol because Mormons don't drink, so you don't either.
The food to purchase are things like hot dogs and cookies. Not at all native Polynesian. Most of the items in the gift shop were not made in Hawaii or anywhere in Polynesia. Many were marked "Made in China."
The "Ha, Breathe of Life," play (they give you a playbill) had aspects that felt like a big-budget college musical production put on by the drama department. There were moments when it was good, but the "play" was a very loose story designed to, again, have college students dress up in native garb and dance around for your amusement. I'll admit, the fire portion was cool. One woman sitting next to us was trying to recruit another woman to join the church.
The vibe is awkward and cringy across the board and it really left a sour taste in my mouth. Know before you go that this is a money making and recruitment tool for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and not at all meant to be a genuine, authentic learning experience.