Katie S.
Yelp
So I don't know how many of you have been to the Jacksonville in July, but let me preface this review by saying it's hotter than Satan's jock strap and wetter than those crazy old ladies who are obsessed with Gerard Butler in Phantom of the Opera. Like I have been to the gates of hell, and it has a cool refreshing breeze compared to St. John's county in July.
As I have mentioned previously, for those KT review zealots, my family is from Jacksonville. Unfortunately I had to go back to JAX, during the fourth of July week the circumstances are sad and ultimately related to this review. We decided to stay a few extra days at Ponte Vedra, which is a Southern institution. It is like Mad Men, where women are inferior, people drink a lot, but also add some golf carts. So MANY members of my family were there. When I say many, I mean many (my father is one of ELEVEN), and they all had kids and then they all had kids (well, not me, I am an old spinster). Because we were all there, it could get confusing because given we are all members of the same family, some of us have the same last name.
Let's begin with my check-in:
KT: Hi.
Receptionist Dippy: Hi. What brings you to Ponte Veeeedra?
KT: My grandmother's funeral.
Receptionist: Oh I am so glad to hear that. Welcome.
KT: Did you hear what I said?
Receptionist: Oh, sorry, it has been a looooong day.
Everything was all well and good until the day of my grandmother's funeral. As aforementioned it was hotter than the balls of Hitler in a sauna in hell fire, and I still, went to the gym, to blow off some sadness and steam. I walked back in the sweltering heat and wiped the salty mixture of ocean, tears and sweat off my brow, when I realized I had been locked out of my room. WTF?!
So long story long, I barely made it to the front desk as I was severely red and dehydrated, and they had checked me out, confusing me with a family member. Kinda honest mistake except that they confused me with my brother who is 6'8 and dark and I am a WOMAN and very fair. So even though it was clearly their mistake, they wanted me to move rooms in the hellfire. Sorry, hommie don't play that. Obviously, dippy receptionist made a mistake in checking all 27 of us in. After a fight to the death with the manager, I got to stay in the room that they locked me out of.
With that said, they have a very nice spa, nice ammenties and a good spa.