Nell L.
Yelp
Easily the worst meal I've ever had in Madison (and possibly the most expensive). I've eaten at the Steenbock's On Orchard bar fairly often, and always enjoyed it. This time we ate in the restaurant, and it was pretentious, absurd, and nasty.
Where to start?
-The waiter was rude and excruciatingly slow. When my mother asked for a little salt, he lectured her. He took 20 minutes to bring a wine list, and service went downhill from there. He took another 20 minutes to bring my mother another glass of wine, after she asked.
-timing: ridiculously, rudely slow. We were the third party to arrive at the restaurant, and the last party to leave, and believe me, we weren't trying to linger. By the time each course finally arrived, it was cold. My steak was chilled in the middle. Only 5 of us were dining that night, and they still could not manage to coordinate the service. My husband's appetizer, entree, and dessert were all later than everyone else's. Even the dessert, for heaven's sake! They brought my uncle's chocolate cake, and only 10 minutes later did they manage to stir themselves to bring out my husband's. Even the coffee was lukewarm.
-the food. Some things tasted fine, but they were ruined by being left to cool down. Other things were simply off. My smoked char was not smoked, but baked, and the fish had a fishy taste. I love char; I know what it is supposed to taste like. That's not it. Few of the dishes had any discernable flavor contrast. A little acid, guys? Have you heard of vinegar, lemon juice, or any of the other ways you balance the oils and brighten up a dish?
-the portions were so tiny they were silly. I am a small woman with a small appetite, and I remained hungry throughout the meal. Very hungry.
Mostly, it was the most boring meal I have ever had. Excruciatingly dull. This place is a parody of itself.
The upholstery, however, is quite nice.
