Anna G.
Yelp
This goes down as one of the worst dining experiences I have ever had. For starters, it's another "do it yourself" restaurant. No servers, and you order at the counter, which isn't something I necessarily mind if done right. To put it incredibly lightly, this place does it horribly wrong.
We were told upon entering that the specials were listed on a small chalkboard that the host pointed to. After we had already ordered our food, we discovered that there were several more boards completely out of view with multiple other specials that we discovered only after a member of our party happened to see them as he was going to the bathroom. We were never once directed to look at them. Additionally, when I began ordering and told the woman at the counter that we wanted a Cesar salad and garlic bread, she pointed to a tiny sign right next to her listing both items. No, "we're out of these items", just the words "ceasar salad, garlic bread" written in what I would describe as a 5.5 size font. Important to note that this order counter and microscopic sign for ants are inside the restaurant, well past the host stand. Meaning the only way for people to find out that certain menu items aren't available is by approaching the counter AFTER you have already decided what you want. After placing the order, I was given a giant electric block with flashing lights, accompanied by an alarm loud enough to instigate the fucking rapture. If you are looking for a peaceful meal, steer clear of this joint. Every 2-5 minutes your ears are assaulted by staggered "BEEPBEEPBEEP"'s from all angles. You are literally screamed at by an inanimate object to get up and run your own food. (Important to remember that this "system" exists merely so that a bunch of dead eyed employees are able to continue staring into space) ( I literally do not know why any of them were there).
Now for the good part. I saw that there were two different oyster options so I ordered 3 of each. One of the selections was "Kilpatrick". I'm from the states, have worked in fine dining for almost 15 years, and have never once heard of Kilpatrick oysters. I don't doubt that they're popular in Australia, but that does NOT mean you shouldn't clearly clarify that they are drowned in what appeared to be some kind of stew (no thnx), and MOST importantly, that that nasty stew contains FREAKING PORK!! I have not eaten meat in 6 years, (outside of some seafood), and tonight this dump made sure to kill the streak! And of all things, PORK!!!! I WORK WITH RESCUED FARM ANIMALS! I cannot begin to put into words how upsetting this was. Like previously mentioned, I have worked in the service industry for a long time and no requitable establishment EVER blindly assumes that every single human being knows all the ingredients of a dish, no matter how popular it might be to your region. This is a tourist spot for christs sake!!
The rest of the food was disgusting. None of us could really stomach it. The pappardelle contained zero sauce, was just meat and noodles. I don't even think the poke bowl had salt and pepper in it. We spent over $160 on the worst restaurant food I can remember eating. While my rage has lead me to leave one of the spiciest reviews of all time, I always maintained etiquette and politeness while speaking with the staff. When I let the woman working the counter know about the pork I consumed after 6 years of being a vegetarian, due to there being no mention of it on the menu, I shit you not.... she laughed. Flabbergasted doesn't begin to cover it.
If you want a functional restaurant, cut the stupid contactless shit and hire servers to guide the customers and provide a relaxing, positive experience. OR, if you're going to run your joint like a second hand cafeteria operated by new born babies, adjust the prices accordingly.
if you don't hate yourself, don't eat here.