Steff D.
Yelp
I specifically came here because of two other reviews: one person said The Armory Lounge would be a place that Ron Burgundy would hold court at; one said that it felt Sherlock & Holmes sitting room. Those two descriptions are VERY, VERY different, yet somehow... totally accurate.
The Armory Lounge set in the dungeon... I mean basement... of the Regency Hotel does have a dark, moody atmosphere to it leaving one feeling as though they should be solving mysteries with neat contraptions. On the other hand, because of the dated carpet and furniture, it's also very easy to imagine an egomaniacal 1970's news anchor drinking too much scotch while entertaining a crowd at the bar. Speaking of which... I was here at 5:20pm and brought the median age down by about 20 to 30 years. No exaggeration here, either. Kind of fun, since not a single other patron paid any attention to me or my counterpart (sometimes its nice to have a feeling of anonymity in a bar in Portland, no?).
We sat at a table on the side of the room in these awkwardly enormous chairs. I was having a fight with mine (it was like hot glued in a permanently angled position, and not being flush with the table was driving me nuts) when our server approached. She delivered complimentary snacks - some pub cheese (no matter how orange that stuff is, it still totally makes me weak in the knees) with an assortment of crackers and pretzels. Possibly one of the best free cocktail snacks in the city that you are most likely unaware of. My counterpart and I each had two drinks a piece... each one was FAN-FREAKING-TABULOUS:
1. El Pepino Picante (jalapeño-infused tequila, triple sec, fresh basil and cucumber, with pineapple and lime juices on the rocks): A Jekyll and Hyde of cocktails, lemme tell you. At first you taste the delicious, watery-yet-distinct flavor of pure cucumber. One second later it's followed-up with the delicious sting of jalapeño. Such. A. FUN. Drink. It almost felt like a meal. The tequila (which I'm not a fan of) was very muted, which I personally appreciated.
2. Summer Fling (watermelon, mint, agave nectar muddled together with either Stoli vodka or Beefeater gin, served on the rocks, finished with club soda): Want to know what summer would taste like if it was a drink? This is it. Right here. If you are a fan of watermelon salads - you will appreciate this drink abundantly (NOTE: get it with vodka, not gin). It's refreshing. It's cooling. It's garden-y. It's also got a TON of actual watermelon in it. Who doesn't love second drink (Pam Beasley reference) as food?
3.Pepperoncini Pickletini (Stoli vodka splashed with pickle and pepperoncini juices): If you've ever done Pickleback's before (and enjoyed them), it's hard to not like this drink. Also, it made me crave pizza SO BADLY. I'm not usually one for savory drinks, but this was just gooooooooood. It tastes EXACTLY how you might think it would. My only advice? Get this drink with a garnish of olives.
4. Fleur de Tea (Absolut Wild Tea, house-infused jasmine and honey green tea, a splash of St. Germaine Elderflower liqueur & lemon juice. Served tall on the rocks): What's better than the most perfectly made southern sweet tea? Adult southern sweet tea that's so dangerously delicious and easy to drink that after two you'd be walking sideways. This flavor profile - which I've only experienced one other time at Local 188 - is tremendously pleasing to me. If you like drinking tea, this is a wonderful, wonderful cocktail.
Now, I'm seriously put off my menus with no prices. To me that means that whatever you're ordering is so inappropriately expensive that the business doesn't want to scare you away. I have no idea how much our cocktails were, but I was expecting to hemorrhage a little money when the bill came. Instead, I had a near heart attack from shock when my tab was just $28 (that's with tax). So during happy hour the cocktails are $7 a piece? WHAT?! WHHHHAAAAAAT!?!?!?!?
Basically, what I'm telling you is that The Armory Lounge is one of the best kept secrets in the city. No, the atmosphere isn't necessarily modern, trendy, or hip... but in a way that actually makes it ironically cool. And cocktails THAT cheap?! And drinks THAT delicious and stiff?! And service that solid (I didn't mention it, but our server was great)?! Please... please... I'm begging you. Pretend you didn't read this review so that I can continue to enjoy this place all to myself!