S.Rayne S.
Yelp
I don't even know where to begin, if I could give less than a star I would. The outside seating was nice enough, but for the prices of the food and the representation; I expected much higher quality (food and decor wise).
My partner got a drink called the front porch, I don't know how else to describe it other than piss water with a sprinkle of alcohol in it. Also the mint didn't look muddled, it looked heavily molested AT BEST.
We got a few plates to share, all were disappointing in their own way; but let's start with the cheese plates.
First of all the brie itself was just okay, but the crackers that came with it tasted stale and reminiscent of mothballs.
The second cheese plate was confusing and not a broad cheese selection, but at least this one had better crackers.
The last thing we got was the arugula salad with the salmon added on, this one pissed me off the most.
The salmon was underwhelming and flavorless, but really it was the "lemon" vinaigrette that ruined the whole thing. I don't understand why they aren't using fresh lemons to make a vinaigrette and instead using the lemon that comes out of the container from concentrate. It's obvious to anybody who has at least three tastebuds! Especially since even with inflation lemons have not become that expensive, and if they are presenting high-quality food AND an atmosphere like this they should be able to afford real lemons.
Overall I would give it a .5 out of 10, just absolute dog shit, if anyone is reading this please don't take your mom here, don't take your grandma here. Take them literally anywhere else, the Village diner is really decent for having a smaller menu and actually I would consider it more upscale.
Also La Muñeca (the ice cream place) is incredible, I would just go there instead. That's where I went to get the taste of this geriatric, and uninspiring food off my palate.