Tempura A.
Yelp
At The Madrones in Philo, you'll pay a premium price for a less than premium experience. It feels as though the guest experience is an afterthought, especially considering the $300 per-night price tag.
On our first night the WiFi went down around 10:30 p.m. It was still down when we woke up the next morning. Wifi is essential because cellular reception is spotty in Anderson Valley. I knew no one was at the front desk so I waited until the morning to text the number they provided us. A representative of the inn drove over and rebooted the modem.
Our Nespresso coffee maker was confounding, which is a cruel thing to do to a guest in the morning. The printed instructions given were completely wrong. We had to be shown how to work around the machine's idiosyncrasies.
So if you stay in The Master and need to use the coffee maker, completely ignore the directions that are provided. Turn the machine on by pressing both buttons on the top about fifteen minutes before you want to brew to give this wretched machine ample time to warm up. To brew, press the flashing button to the right on the top of the unit. Never mind the directions, the buttons never stop flashing. The button to the left which is the best one because it brews a stiffer stronger cup, though blinking, is non-functioning. Then brace yourself for the loudest Nespresso you've ever heard. Like, hairdryer loud. My vacuum sealer is quieter. Stay close to the unit and be prepared to hit the flashing button to the right again, or your coffee will overflow--every time. Overflowing coffee has a startling effect that is similar to a caffeine bump. To the establishment's credit, they leave six pods.
When we came back to our room on the second evening, housekeeping had taken the small cake of soap from our bathroom and did not replace it. You get no toiletries here. Rather, there are self-serve dispensers inside the shower. Eventually, I noticed a soap pump in the kitchenette bar area so I brought it into the bathroom. Come on. This is not the premium getaway experience I paid to have.
Then there's the sound of laundry spinning, churning and wobbling in the housekeeping room right next door at 9:20 a.m. So much for peace and quiet in the morning.
Pros:
The Master is a spacious unit with a daybed.
The king sized bed in The Master was comfortable and linens were top notch. Pillows were great--large, soft and lofty. The throw pillows need attention though--split zipper on one, bleach marks on another.
Smartly appointed (minus the Nespresso) kitchenette-like bar thoughtfully stocked with banana bread, yogurt, cereal, milk, cream, juice, tea and coffee pods are left for you to enjoy in your room. That was a nice touch.
Bottle of locally made sparkling wine waiting on arrival.
Spacious balcony overlooking a koi pond and gardens.
With drawn curtains and closed blinds the room stays fairly dark, which is great for late sleepers.
Decent water pressure and a shower big enough for two.
The tap water tastes a lot better than the tap water from Napa or any town in Southern California. If you're bothered by faint flavors that bring to mind minerals and moss, there's a Britta water filter pitcher in the fridge. I didn't need to use it. Straight from the tap was fine.
Good heater.
Plenty of closet space.
Tastefully decorated.
High ceilings and large tall doors.
Clean--not impeccable but good enough.
Cons:
Poor cost-to-value ratio considering the location, level of service, and organizational missteps.
"Low touch residential guest quarters" means you're pretty much on your own here. On-screen it sounds fine, unobtrusive, but in practice, with so many failings, it doesn't work well to not have an inn-keeper on site. Your mileage may vary.
Low flow toilets require multiple flushes for normal use and basic "loads" with minimal paper. It defeats the ecological purpose.
There is some road noise. It's not terrible, but it's there. If you live in a quiet rural or residential area, you will notice it. It dies down significantly at night.
No bathtub.
No interior safety lock on the door. So anyone with a key can come in at any time. No one came in, but still, I don't like that feeling--being a late sleeper I've had my share of housekeeping barging in and waking me up.
Bath towels, though good quality, are too small. At this level of accommodations, I expected bath sheets.
Parking is not clearly delineated, making it a free-for-all for thoughtless drivers of luxury SUVs.
Checkout is at 11:00--early. Noon would be more humane.
Would I recommend or stay here again? No. Not for what The Madrones charges. This was a disappointing stay. I was glad to get home.