J H.
Yelp
Welcome to Grey Gardens! (ahem) I mean the The Outing Lodge...
Oh boy, where to begin? While it is extremely tempting to write a lengthy novella of a review about the Outing Lodge (est. 1858) as an homage to it's past as a Victorian Dickenseque poor house I will have to tell this unsettling tale using the modern conventions of lists and bullet points. This is a review of the B & B experience only.
If you want the short version here it is...
* Outrageous cost ($215) for a run down room that felt like price gouging
* As an event center, the grounds offer a unique faded beauty and charming gardens and are lovely -- as a B & B it is a tragedy
* The owner REALLY needs to do some market research and stay in a few similarly priced places to understand their competition, and why that price point is completely off base for what is offered
* As a competitive example... the last B & B I stayed in at this price point was the amazing Savannah Bed and Breakfast Inn in Savannah, GA and it was fantastic.
And now the long version...
Let's begin with the tale of two sisters -- myself J., and my younger sister A., who decided to enjoy a one-night stay at the lodge on a Friday in August, 2019. Two sisters, who by the end of a 24 hour stay, felt just like the infamous "Little Edie" and "Big Edie" of Gray Gardens. Why you ask? Here are the reasons in order of most problematic:
Unhealthy and Potentially Unsafe Elements
* Overpowering musty, moldy and mildew odor was pervasive, especially near the bar area and rooms 1 and 1A. There was a sickly sweet chemical smell of some type of Pine-sol cleaner or air freshener that was attempting to mask or address the mustiness, but with no luck. Those with allergies should NOT stay here, and I would imagine the air quality in those areas is not good for anyone.
* Bathroom in our room - Amelia Earhart had a sunken 1970s/1980s style bathtub in the floor which took up nearly half the room. No safety handles or steps - a huge tripping/falling hazard for anyone getting up in the night to use the bathroom
* Minimal or no lighting in common areas at night made it feel pretty spooky hard to navigate without a cellphone light at night
Bad Value for a Bedroom
* Although the rooms were quiet, the beds were either 1) squeaky or 2) super low to the ground like a college futon
* Bed linen was sub par -- thin sheets, cheap blankets, extremely thick and heavy pillow, mattresses were so-so. If you are charging $155 - $215 a night, it needs to be plush (100% cotton), super clean.
* Bathroom toiletries were something you'd find at a discount or dollar store - large value sized basic shampoo and soaps instead of the typical smaller sizes of a unique kind which are meant as a complimentary gift to visitor
* Rooms had areas showing damage to the walls like unpainted plaster patches
Breakfast was Basic
* Breakfast was just o.k. - meat, yogurt, and eggs, a good bread pudding and average coffee. Again as a comparison - in another B & B at same price point I had an order form to select a custom breakfast from a cook
* Common Area need TLC...Lobby area had ice in what looked like an Igloo cooler and liters of soda - c'mon - get a classy glass dispenser to match the era and furniture.
* Clutter in the foyer and lobby area detract from the "wow" factor of it's natural features - the desk and computer need to be behind a counter of some kind
* Some outdoor areas had quite a bit of "junk" around as TripAdvisor reviews have mentioned
Excessive Policy Signage = Unwelcoming vibe
* Almost immediately upon entering we noticed a great deal of signage and policies posted in multiple places that undermined the welcoming, homey, friendly feeling great b & bs cultivate so well.
A few examples:
* Video surveillance - many signs in various areas telling you are being watched
* Alcohol policy - no outside alcohol and a fine if you bring any in - this despite the fact that the "bar" didn't really appear to be open
* Toilet signage - oddly overly detailed - "Do no throw in the toilet trash that is not guaranteed to flush. Kleenex are bad, same as tampons, condoms, cigarettes, cardboards [sic], wood or plastics. Thank you!" What an image!
"Do not move the rocks!!" - the ultimate in bizarre. In an surprise hack move two large square rocks were wedged in between the faucet area to keep them steady. So do not move...or else what...? It will open the portal to the underworld located beneath the jacuzzi? We'll be able to change the weather like a Pylon-loving Slestak in "Land of the Lost" ?
* Staff was friendly but fairly lax. Coco, the doggie resident was cute.
Do not stay here unless you want to feel like two oddballs gals from the 1970s living in a mangy mansion room.
Signed,
"Little Edie and Big Edie"