OnHorseBack2Castle
Google
This isn’t really a hotel review - it’s a declaration of love. Like the love of a great aunt that turns up for Christmas, has one too many sherries, attempts political correctness but gets it slightly wrong, and then falls asleep during the king’s speech; staying at the Saracen’s Head is a deeply eccentric and quintessentially English experience. Other than being one of the oldest and certainly most historic hotels in England (King Charles I sought refuge here in 1646), perhaps the most notable ‘feature’ is the current legendary proprietor. He’s a very active and hard-working octogenarian, with a certain unique approach to hospitality. There’s a touch of the famed Torquay hotelier about him or perhaps a sober Withnail - still tragically battling the forces of fate and circumstance, in the clipped Received Pronunciation of a different age: “I seem to be running a hotel by accident, oopsie daisy.”||Over the many years, as a frequent patron of the Saracen’s Head, I’ve come to always expect the unexpected. Just the simple act of checking-in can quite easily descend into a theatre of the absurd. I was once told: “There’s no hot water I’m afraid, army wash at the sink with a flannel and kettle, best I can offer.” I find my room and immediately run a bath - there’s plenty of hot water. Later, I pass-by reception and mention the hot water’s back on. “By Jove!” he says. “All fixed."||Arriving one summer, he announces, “I won’t put you in room 7, full of wasps. You’re in room 17.” On entering room 17, I’m greeted by a swarm of wasps. |Back down at reception I say, “There’s wasps in 17.” |“Yes, yes” he says. “Wasps in 17 you’re in room 7, oopsie daisy…”||For lovers of British farce, that end-of-the-pier style entertainment doesn’t stop there! I returned one evening to find a large handwritten note on the front door informing me - under NO circumstance - should I go to my room but instead, report to reception. “Ah yes,” he says. “Had to move your kit out earlier, honeymoon couple in your room now, mix up with booking, oopsie daisy…glad I caught you.”||When visiting Southwell, I wouldn’t stay anywhere else.