Austin B.
Yelp
tl;dr wacky pies done well, even the uber-gimmicky taco pizza is exciting and well worth a visit
Tony Boloney's debuted in Atlantic City in 2009 as a boutique pizzeria/deli from the mind of Mike Haute. The well-curated, drunk-food menu of inventive pizzas and subs is headlined by the signature Taco Taco Taco Pizza -- originally a fanciful stoner combo available only on Tuesdays that has now garnered attention nationwide. Tony Boloney's has since expanded to multiple New Jersey locations, including a food truck.
The Jersey City outpost is adjacent to a meadow-green muralled construction project jutting out into the sidewalk. The all-black storefront has a cursive, blue neon sign hanging in the window. The interior is industrial-chic. A pizza-inspired graffiti collage stretches along the wall to the left; whitewashed brick on the right starkly contrasts the black subway tile across the back. Warm, filamentous bulbs hang from the soaring ceilings, and a single, wall-mounted flat screen plays Scrubs without subtitles. The compact pizza display is illuminated by blue and green underlighting. The teal unisex bathroom is separated by latched, barn-style sliding door. A handful of mildly cushioned booths are closely packed in the space, and pop radio echoes around the room.
A few friends and I arrived for Sunday lunch, and Tony Boloney's boasted a steady stream of customers. We spent a few minutes browsing the laminated menus and acquainting ourselves with the ambitious pizza lineup, but we were somewhat disappointed to learn that our selection of slices was limited to those already on display (probably only half of the available pizza concoctions). Undeterred, we opted to share an assortment of varieties.
Across all of the slices, the crust was thin, uncharred, and remarkably sturdy. The collective favorite was the Supreme Tang, a Thai-inspired chicken pie featuring a sesame seed crust, spicy mayo, and a dynamic blend of sweet and savory flavors. My next pick (and my partner's favorite of the lot) was the aforementioned Taco Taco Taco, now offered daily. The floppy, extra-large slice balanced precariously on two paper plates. It was slathered with Oaxacan queso blanco and chipotle mole sauce, decked with three unexpectedly hefty tacos and a boatload of fresh guacamole, and finally drizzled with pickled jalapeno crema. The taco varieties -- mezcal-marinated steak, chicken, and brisket, each cooked with ooey gooey cheese sauce -- were each flavorfully rich and would be wholly satisfying as standalone eats in their own right. A single taco pizza slice could reasonably serve as a hearty meal, and it was perfect to split between multiple folks. Among the remaining slices, I also enjoyed the Tikka (another sesame crust decorated with paneer and tamarind chutney), as well as the relatively subdued, earthy Magic Mushroom. Only the S#itfaced Chicken, which was totally overpowered by the one-dimensionally sweet honey sauce, left me unimpressed.
The staff was somewhat standoffish but otherwise efficient, although one employee was knocked out at an adjacent table. Oddly, napkins and utensils were nowhere to be found across the dining room -- we had to ask the distant staff. Most slices ran $5-8, with the Taco Taco Taco fetching $15. Although zany and oftentimes outlandish, the pies were surprisingly well executed. While by no means the best pizza in New Jersey, Tony Boloney's is a fun and memorable experience, and I would happily be game for round 2.
