Wade W.
Google
So, you pay money to sit in a wobbly little boat that makes IKEA chairs look ergonomic. Some poor soul rows you around, doesn’t speak a word of English, and you both just silently accept the mutual suffering. Your butt goes numb, your knees lock, and you start rethinking life choices.
The ride itself is basically Netflix autoplay. Caves, temples, caves, temples. Just when you think, “ah, maybe now it’s something new,” nope, another damp tunnel or shrine. It’s like a greatest hits album where the band only had two songs.
The scenery, though? Absolute banger. Jagged mountains, rocks, and trees that look like someone hacked into the Matrix and turned up the beauty settings. Every view is postcard-perfect, if you can still feel your hands enough to take a photo.
Survival tip: bring water. Otherwise, you’ll be that sweaty tourist corpse they have to paddle back mid-route.
Final verdict: 4/5. Uncomfortable boats, repetitive playlist, but the views slap hard enough to save it. Instagram will thank you, your spine won’t.